Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Until then, you only know what you think you know

"Until you know my joy, know my pain, and know my struggle...."
That quote and the title of this post is from a song titled "Until" by Raheem Devaughn. I remember the first time I heard that song. I was on my way home from work and was stuck in traffic. It moved me so much that I was in tears driving home. I can relate to it on so many levels.

A lot of the people who know me now, think I am blessed. They are right. Thomas is a wonderful husband, friend, and father. The girls are smart, beautiful, and absolute joys. We have a great house, great jobs, a wonderful church family and all the things one could ever ask for. But all of this came with a cost.

Thomas and I were raised by single mothers. We saw them work their behinds off and struggle. I grew up in one of the toughest places in New York. I saw and experienced things most people older than me could never imagine. But we made a conscious decision to move beyond that. We worked and struggled and fought so our kids can have a better life. So they won't go through the things we went through. To make sure history didn't repeat itself and to be a blessing to others.

When I hear songs like "Until" for a moment I am sad, have a good cry, and reflect on the past. Now I don't believe in dwelling in the past and having an eternal pity party. The past is the past. It's already happen. All the tears, all the screams, all the anger in the world won't change a darn thing that already happened. I could have either continued to feel sorry for myself and do nothing with my life, or dig myself out of the dirt, wash myself off and strive to and eventually do better. I chose the latter. I know I have succeeded when I look at my husband, when I see my kids, when I walk around cleaning up and picking up toys in this beautiful 2100 sf house. I know all the things in my past that was done to stifle me, to kill me, to destroy me, only made me more determined.

All of what I have came with a cost. Anything worth having does. Eternal salvation through Jesus cost Him His life. I said all of this to say, don't just look on the surface and make assumptions about a person's life. Don't be so quick to dismiss someone because it appears as if they have it all. You don't know what they've overcome. You don't know the struggles they've dealt with. You don't know about the nights they may have cried and wanted to give up but didn't. You don't know what it took, what it cost them to be where they are. Until you know what a person has been through, "you only know what you think you know." Q

1 comment:

Natalie said...

Very nice post, Ms. Queeny.