Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Lazy Day Wednesday

Today is my day off and I am being lazy beyond words. I woke up to my baby being sick and she threw up. I cleaned up, made breakfast, dropped the other 2 off and came back home. Right now I am on the couch, on the computer and in front of the tv just chilling. My baby is lying next to me and I am good. I will probably do some cleaning later but right now, the couch is my best friend. Q

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Our family at the Obama rally yesterday!!!

Our family went the Obama rally held yesterday. I wanted to get there early but "someone" had to finish watching the Texas game. So we headed there at around 5 pm. The line was blocks long at that time and I was not happy. Some volunteers said if we went right now and voted early, we could get a pass to get in quicker so we jumped at the opportunity. It was cool until I got in line. The guy in front smelled of alcohol and kept turning around to talk to me, and the girl behind my was a "like" chick. You know one that says the word "like" 100 times in a sentence. So after about 45 minutes I voted with my baby at my side and felt an overwhelming since of pride. Dh and the other 2 Supremes were sitting in the waiting area.

We had our tickets and headed to the field. The gates had already opened and the good spots were gone. We found an area along where it was gated. It faced the flag and the tent where everyone came out of before going to the stage. After listening to Tom Udall, a local band, George Lopez, and Bill Richardson, we listened to some music and then we saw him. He came out the tent and in front of our area and gave us a wave before heading around to the stage. We were on his left side. I began to cry and scream, and the girls were so giddy. I didn't get really good pics because we was a ways back and my video camera gave us issues. But dh told me to make sure we get a new one this week!!! He is not playing. It was so incredible and if yall saw it on tv, Obama gave McCain the business.

There was this one guy in our area who kept shouting "McCain is racist", "Don't vote for McCain." And would reply to Obama with "yeah", "tell it", "what", "that's right." I think he is in one of the pics. We waited around after to see if he would come to our area and he came back out and waved at us once again. We probably could have made it on the stage but "somebody" wouldn't listen to me. Afterward, it was live. Folks were completely riled up. They were honking their horns and shouting while riding down the street. They said over 45,000 people attended!!! Here are some pics I took, one of us in front of the sign (it was dark sorry) and some I found online of the rally. As you can see, Li Li will make a friend wherever she goes. The little lady was so sweet and so excited to see President Obama. NM is def going for Obama!!! Q

Friday, October 24, 2008

When you know better, you do better

This is probably one of the realest things I am about to post on this blog. Whether you believe I am sincere or not, it has to be done. This is the completion of something I have been working on spiritually for a minute now. So now is the time for me to just put it out there so I can move on and be a better person. This is not to get praise or attention, I am doing it because it is the right thing to do.

Some of you remember me posting about my oldest daughter having issues at school. Another little girl had been bothering her and saying mean stuff. It hurt me to see my baby hurt like that. Previously God had already shown me in all my mess and pointed out some things I needed to change and I can honestly say I was working on it. Well around the time of the incident with B, I laid down to pray for her. I asked God to help her to find the words to say with love but to also stand up for herself. I had tears in my eyes and I was a little angry. Finally God showed me that I could not be angry because I was guilty of doing the same thing. Yup, He went there. And when God shows you, your true self it is hard to turn away from it.

Right there I repented and I began to watch what I say about other people. Yes I have had some slip ups but I am getting better. Which brings me to this post. When you know better, you do better. I now know better and I plan on doing better not just in real life but on this board and everywhere else as well. I already repented and asked for forgiveness from God but I have one more thing to do: To anyone I have ever said a bad word about, gossiped about, made fun of, or joked about in a mean way that would have hurt you, I apologize and ask for forgiveness. I really do. (Even to the person who stalks me, yes you too). I now understand it was wrong of me whether you said something to me or about me or not, it doesn't excuse my behavior. This is from the bottom of my heart!!!!

Now this doesn't mean, I won't state my opinions. This doesn't mean I won't have disagreements etc.. It just means I plan on being personally accountable to myself and God about the things "I" say about people. I know it will be hard because it is so easy to just ramble on about stuff and go there but I am focused on doing what I need to do. So if someone calls, or emails me about someone, I am going to either respond without speaking ill of them or simply tell you I cannot respond. I don't want to say anything that could be taken out of context or used to hurt someone else.

I am not looking down on folks who do, nor do I expect anyone to follow my lead, I am simply speaking for Queeny and Queeny alone. I know this won't take back what I have said so I can only speak for how I plan to go from here on out. I am not saying I have said stuff crazy and off the wall. I am simply saying the stuff like, "yeah she's crazy, she should not wear that, yeah she's so stupid, her head is too big for that hairstyle" etc... as far as I am concerned was wrong in my book. I know this is something we all have been guilty of at least once.

I thank God for using my daughter to open my eyes to see the error of my ways. I thank Him for putting this in my spirit to post because I didn't want to. I thank Him for all of you who read this and I hope to be a better and more loving Queeny from here on out. Much love.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

We all have to take our Big Girl/Boy Pill!!!

This morning as I was driving to work, I began to talk to God. Or rather He began to talk to me. It is time, He told me. Yup it was time for me to swallow another Big Girl Pill. You see this year has been filled with a lot of them. He has been moving things and people out of my life and it has not been easy. So this morning He let me know it was time for Him once again to do what He needs to do. You see I got a little too comfortable and before I went over the edge, He decided to send me a wake up call. Little did I know how soon it would happen.

So here I am sitting with some spiritual water trying to swallow this pill He has placed in front of me. Folks just don't know how hard it is for me sometimes. As much as I try, I know I can't have it all, I can't do it all and I can't be everything to everybody. Serving God comes with a cost esp being a minister. I know I have messed up but I am learning. Each new day I am getting better and stronger. The closer I get to Him, the more I have to choose. I have to choose who I spend time with, the type of music I listen to, the things I watch on tv., the people I allow into my life. Choices all around me.

But I thank God because once He tells you something, He always follows it up with confirmation. So when I picked up the phone this morning and dialed my girl, she confirmed everything He had already told me. I am grateful because God understands us. He knows the type of people to send your way that will bless you and encourage you. Over the past 2 months, I have had the pleasure of meeting other females in the ministry. One is around my age group and she moved here from New Orleans and I am enjoying her company and being able to learn from her.

Serving God is not easy. And I know the longer I serve the harder it will get. My Pastor says, "it will not get easier, we will have to get stronger." Although I get tired of these pills, I take em anyway because in the end, not serving Him is just not worth it. Q

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I put my braids in

I am itching to cut my hair for some reason. In order to prevent myself from doing so and to protect my hair during the winter months, I decided to put braids in. I started after I came home from church on Sunday. I used the bathroom mirrors to first part my hair in four sections and to then make the subsequent parts. The mirrors fold out so I was able to make some really straight parts. It took about 9-10 hours which includes breaks. They were way too long at first and Thomas helped me cut them. Q

Happy Birthday Kaliyah

My baby turned 6 today. She had her party at school yesterday and I took cupcakes for the class. She had a special heart shaped cake. Check out the little boy watching as she blew out her candle. There is also one of her posing along with some of her classmates. Although you keep it interesting around the house, Mommy and Daddy love you very much. Have a great day!!! Q

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A Li Li story to start the week off right...

Well K has gotten in trouble at school. We were trying to decide on a punishment that will really make her think. I was going to cancel her b-day party at school but I already had all the stuff. So then I decided to not let her go with us to see HSM 3 this weekend. So after I told her, she went through all of her emotions. First she was crying, then she was begging, then she was mad, then finally she tried to convince herself it wasn't that bad. Here is the convo:

K: So what am I going to do while you guys are at the movies?
Me: You will be here with your dad
K: (thinking)
K: Oh goody, dad and I are going to have so much fun
Me: Um hmm
K: Yeah we are going to play and have lots of fun
Me: Um hmm
K: Yup it's going to be a lot of fun
Me: Well yall have all the fun while we are at the movies eating popcorn, drinking juice, and eating candy
K: They don't have candy there
Me: Yes they do and we are going to get some
K: So

Gotta love her!!! Q

Friday, October 17, 2008

Wow did you add some hair?!!!

First let me say I have the best boss in the world. But I think I threw him off today. Yesterday I washed my hair, blowdried it and put it in braids. My plan was to wear a braid out this am but I was having technical difficulties with the Supremes and forgot. So I got to work and the lady from HR came in my office and said, ooh I like your braids and asked to touch it. I thought braids, and then realized I was wearing all of these crazy parted, different thickness braids all over my head. So I ran into the bathroom, took them apart with my fingers and left the back out and pulled the top into a loose ponytail. Well my boss just walked past and asked, "wow did you add some hair?" I laughed and explained it to him. He said, "wow that's kind of neat." I rarely wear my hair out and this braid out is looser and longer than usual because my hair is blowdried. Anyway just wanted to share a hair story. I had my girl J take some pics for me so here they are. Q

Thursday, October 16, 2008

My heart cries

I just found out today that my cousin's 2 1/2 month old son Jacoby died. My heart cries for her right now. I love you Pauline and you are in our thoughts and prayers. Q

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

She inspires me

My kids are absolutely incredible. They are so smart and super compassionate. They inspire me daily. I wish I was like them at that age. The thing I love about having kids is being able to get things right with them. I learned so much growing up and we are making sure they have better opportunities.

So Bria's party is on Saturday and I am prepping for it. I asked her on Sunday if she would like to go to my hairdresser and get her hair straightened for her party. She looked at me and said, "no I like my hair curly." I told her to think about it and asked her again. Once again she told me no she was just fine. Honestly I wanted to cry. I just love how confident she is with herself and hasn't let how others look affect how she chooses to wear hers. Almost everyone at their school including the other young black girls have their hair straight but she loves herself enough to keep her hair just the way it is.

The pic above is from her birthday on the 6th. She picked her outfit out and everything. Her hair is still in twists and that's how she wants to wear it for her party. I love my babies. Q

Monday, October 13, 2008

Sometimes I rhyme slow, Sometimes I rhyme quick

Most days I am in constant motion. It seems like there aren't enough hours in the day. Between working out, taking care of the family and working, I am always going. My body gives me signs to slow down but I don't heed them. Eventually I become more agitated, resentful, stressed and downright evil. Everyone around me starts to notice a change and then I realize I have gone too far. I try to be there for everyone but I have neglected the person that needs me the most, ME.

I hate getting to that place because I don't like who I've become. So to avoid that, I make time just for me. I take at least one day per month where I don't get on the computer, don't talk on the phone, don't cook, clean, or do anything but just be. Sometimes I will run a bubble bath and play some music. Sometimes I will just go for a drive and listen to the wind. Other times I just sleep or just lay around thinking about nothing. I remove everything from my mind and just let my heart, soul, and mind be.

It is important to have that time to yourself. As a woman especially, we carry a lot on our shoulders. We try to be everything to everybody. But we can't do that on an empty tank. I know it is easier said than done but it is important to our survival. Even if you can't devote a full day just yet, take the time to slow down a little. Designate some of the things you do to other people. Take a few minutes to sit in peace either early in the morning or in the evening after the kids are in the bed. On your way to work, turn the radio off and just drive in the quiet and stillness of your car. Take an extra long shower and pamper yourself a little. The stuff will be there when you get back and you will be ready, refreshed, and better able to handle it all. Q

Thursday, October 09, 2008

This is for my homies!!!!

It is amazing how life is sometimes. Last night I couldn't sleep and I was thinking about these thank you cards I am sending out this weekend. I was so amazed at how long my list was. I have so many wonderful people in my life. Everyday whether on the phone, through im or in person I am surrounded by love. Although everyone is special to me, over the last couple of months I've gotten extremely close to 3 women in particular. They are saved, beautiful, strong, funny, supportive, and loving. Who else but us can have each other on 3 way for close to 3 hours laughing and talking our behinds off?

This is for my girls Meka and Tee. Each of you have qualities that I admire and adore. Each of you bring something different to the table. I know if I ever needed you, you would be there in a minute. It is no mistake that we are friends. I know it is because God loved me so much that He brought you guys into my life. I appreciate you putting up with me, loving me, praying for me, getting in my tail when needed and loving me. I know it may not always be this way but right here, right now, this day, and this hour I want to say to the 2 of you.....

Monday, October 06, 2008

10 years ago today

10 years ago today I gave birth to one of the most beautiful little girls in the world named Bria. I remember shedding tears as she was handed to me for the first time. She just looked and frowned like she didn't really know what was going on. I was filled with so much love for this little person I was meeting for the first time.

Man time sure does fly by. This morning I got her up and she picked out her outfit for her birthday. She chose a cute, comfy Rocawear jumpsuit. I redid a few twists and applied a nice cute flower. She looked at me with those big, beautiful eyes and said, "mom I'm a decade now."

It is always emotional when you look back at your first child because you have experienced so much with them. You make so many mistakes but you also learn a lot so it is easier with the ones to follow. I know I haven't always done right by her but I hope she knows how much I really love her. It is my prayer that the next 10 years will be even better than the first 10.

To my darling Bria, mommy and daddy love you so much. We are so blessed to have you in our lives. You are so smart, funny, and wise. There is nothing you can't do in life as long as you put your mind to it. We thank God for blessing us with you!!! Q

Thursday, October 02, 2008

You better listen to your corner, and watch for the hook..

Life is like a boxing match. Most of us don't jump in the ring, put on some gloves and get to swinging. We start off with training which for us involves being cared for and nurtured as kids. We are in essence going through the ropes, getting training, and getting some bumps and bruises along the way. Before you know it, the time has come for you to get out on your own and fight. You have been prepped and you are ready.

As soon as you decide to start making your own decisions and go out on your own, you are stepping in the ring. As soon as the bell rings, you are moving around trying to avoid getting hit. You are ducking, dodging, and moving. But eventually, it happens. You get hit. Ooh that first hit ain't no joke. It could be your first heartbreak, not getting into a school you really wanted to attend, or not getting that job or promotion. It sends you back but you recover. After a few more hits, you get smarter. You keep your guard up more, you know what to look for. You know how to read people and know which ones to avoid. You even start throwing some punches yourself so you can get ahead and be where you need to be.

Life is going pretty good right now. You already know you are in a fight so it is going along as planned. The hits don't sting as much and you are still on your feet. Your corner is yelling at you and giving you tips but you think you got this and don't listen. They yell more and you avoid them. You get a little cocky and then it happens. Yup what you wasn't expecting, the hook. What your corner was trying to tell you about. The hook is probably the most powerful punch in boxing. You never see it coming. Your opponent uses their entire body to deliver it. They turn their arm, their legs, their abs and together deliver a powerful blow either to the side of the body or face away from your guard. The hook is the one you don't think will ever happen. It could be finding out your best friend betrayed you, that your spouse has cheated, or that your kids are doing drugs. The hook will take you out if you let it.

You can avoid it by listening to your corner. We all get signs and implications when the hook is about to come but a lot times we don't listen. We are so focused on what is in front of us that we block out the other things that could literally take us out. Don't ever get to comfortable in life no matter how great it's going. Never let your guard down, keep moving, keep punching, fight with all you can when your back is against the ropes, and always listen to your corner and watch for the hook. Q

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

That's what love is...

I love this picture of my husband. Every time I see it, I smile. His body language speaks volumes. He is standing, scratching his chin in shock trying to take everything it. It was taken in December of 2006 at his surprise 30th birthday party. He spent the entire night just smiling and showering me with hugs and kisses. It made me happy to see him happy. That's what love is.

Love is more than just feeling good yourself. True love is being happy when you make the one you love happy. When you can put a smile on the face. When you can make them scratch their chin, and stare at their birthday cake. When you can almost bring tears to their eyes when they see you have flown their mother and mother in law in to celebrate their special day. When all you care about is making sure they know how special they are. That is how we have been able to last. I recently posted about being very well taken cared of. Thomas is as well. We spoil each other rotten. We are each other's biggest supporters and cheerleaders. That's how it is supposed to be. Marriages last when the two people in it do what it takes to keep each other happy. If done right, no one will ever feel unappreciated or taken advantage of.

I don't mind being submissive to my husband. It doesn't mean I am weak. It means I am strong enough to love, to trust and to let him carry some of the load for me. I know everyone can't do it like we do but if you sit down and talk it can be done. We have been blessed so much because we always put God first, we are very giving and loving, and we treat people the way we want to be treated.

I love my husband. He is everything I wanted in a husband and more. I am so blessed to have him in my life and so grateful my kids have him as a father. I love him because he shows me love each and everyday. We work because we do what we need to so the other is always happy. We may not have a lot to some but the love we have is priceless. Our love for each other can't be measured. That's what love is!!! Q