Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Relationships and Money

I was compelled to blog about this after hearing about 2 sisters fighting over a lottery ticket. Well the bible says, the love of money is the root of all evil. I myself have been in sticky situations regarding money. It is even tougher when it involves folks you love or you considered friends. But I've learned a lot along the way especially when it comes to giving money to others. I don't believe money should ruin a relationship, but unfortunately it is a catalyst. Money itself is not evil. It is the power people give to it in their lives and in their relationsips that causes problems. So here are some things I've learned along the way when it comes to giving, loaning and receiving money:

1)If you give or loan money and the person promises to pay you back, expect you won't get it back. Yes I don't care how much they beg, plead and promise, chances are, they won't come through. So never give what you can't afford to lose, PERIOD.

2)If you promise to pay it back, do it. Even if you have to give little by little, be a man or woman of your word. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Even if they are millionaires, keep your word. Don't buy any more make up, hair products, cut back on the starbucks but do what you can to pay them back.

3)Never ask or remind the person they owe you. When someone owes me money, I never bring it up. Why? Because they know they owe me. It's not up to me to remind them that they owe me.

4)Don't insult the person who helped you out. I don't know how many times I've heard of folks borrowing money from someone, promise to pay them back but then they got out and buy other stuff and tells the other person about it. Or they come up with 50-11 sob stories as to why they can't pay you back. The cat died, the dog died, the house caught on fire, but yet their hair and nails are always done. I mean really?!!! That is a slap in the face.

5)Evaluate the friendship. This can go both ways. Sometimes the person who gave the money holds it over the other's head or brags to others about how they gave so and so money. Or if you are the lender/giver and you realize the person won't keep their promise to pay you back. For me, it speaks volumes. Not because of the money itself because it says a lot about how the person values our relationship. Like I said before, they aren't keeping their word. So if they can't keep their word when it comes to this, what else are they not being truthful about?

6)If it goes sour and you repair the relationship, never do it again. Yup I have a couple of people in my life that I love but they will never get another dime from me. I don't care how desperate they are, all I can offer is prayer. They have shown you who they are when it comes to this matter so believe them.

Now I know some people will be up in arms but whatever. All the hit dogs can holler. Money is not worth losing a friend over. Money is not worth losing a sister over. You can always get more money, but you can't get back a person or the time you could have spent with them. So think before you give and receive. Q