This is probably one of the realest things I am about to post on this blog. Whether you believe I am sincere or not, it has to be done. This is the completion of something I have been working on spiritually for a minute now. So now is the time for me to just put it out there so I can move on and be a better person. This is not to get praise or attention, I am doing it because it is the right thing to do.
Some of you remember me posting about my oldest daughter having issues at school. Another little girl had been bothering her and saying mean stuff. It hurt me to see my baby hurt like that. Previously God had already shown me in all my mess and pointed out some things I needed to change and I can honestly say I was working on it. Well around the time of the incident with B, I laid down to pray for her. I asked God to help her to find the words to say with love but to also stand up for herself. I had tears in my eyes and I was a little angry. Finally God showed me that I could not be angry because I was guilty of doing the same thing. Yup, He went there. And when God shows you, your true self it is hard to turn away from it.
Right there I repented and I began to watch what I say about other people. Yes I have had some slip ups but I am getting better. Which brings me to this post. When you know better, you do better. I now know better and I plan on doing better not just in real life but on this board and everywhere else as well. I already repented and asked for forgiveness from God but I have one more thing to do: To anyone I have ever said a bad word about, gossiped about, made fun of, or joked about in a mean way that would have hurt you, I apologize and ask for forgiveness. I really do. (Even to the person who stalks me, yes you too). I now understand it was wrong of me whether you said something to me or about me or not, it doesn't excuse my behavior. This is from the bottom of my heart!!!!
Now this doesn't mean, I won't state my opinions. This doesn't mean I won't have disagreements etc.. It just means I plan on being personally accountable to myself and God about the things "I" say about people. I know it will be hard because it is so easy to just ramble on about stuff and go there but I am focused on doing what I need to do. So if someone calls, or emails me about someone, I am going to either respond without speaking ill of them or simply tell you I cannot respond. I don't want to say anything that could be taken out of context or used to hurt someone else.
I am not looking down on folks who do, nor do I expect anyone to follow my lead, I am simply speaking for Queeny and Queeny alone. I know this won't take back what I have said so I can only speak for how I plan to go from here on out. I am not saying I have said stuff crazy and off the wall. I am simply saying the stuff like, "yeah she's crazy, she should not wear that, yeah she's so stupid, her head is too big for that hairstyle" etc... as far as I am concerned was wrong in my book. I know this is something we all have been guilty of at least once.
I thank God for using my daughter to open my eyes to see the error of my ways. I thank Him for putting this in my spirit to post because I didn't want to. I thank Him for all of you who read this and I hope to be a better and more loving Queeny from here on out. Much love.