That was the title of the last sermon I preached a few Sundays ago. There I was filled with the Holy Spirit preaching, and sweating. Everyone was pretty much on their feet because the word resonated with them. But that word was as much for me as it was for them. I knew this year would be different for me. Eight is the number of new beginnings and I was born on 08/08/08 and turned 30 this year. God has come down hard on me this year unlike any other. He has shaken up friendships I once had, allowed me to be under attack a lot more, and put me in situations where I couldn't defend myself. It is hard not being able to say something because God told me not to. So yeah I've had to look like a punk, sell out, and two faced. But I know it's because He loves me and He was pushing me towards the next level in my walk and I need to experience certain things. Those things have only made me stronger and made me to want to be closer to Him even more.
I can honestly say I have made way to many mistakes. Some of them, could have easily been avoided. I haven't always been the best witness for Christ either. I too got a little too caught up in things of the world. I guess I could make excuses, but I won't because excuses can't change the past. Instead I choose to change and to be better. Some people say this board can be addictive but this board only has the power you give it. I have learned that it is not certain things that hinder me, but it is me and the power I give to things.
As you all know, I am going on a break from a lot of the internet forums I participate in. Not because I think there is anything wrong with the actual forums. But I need to make some changes for [b]me.[/b] This is one of many small distractions right now I need to eliminate for the next couple of weeks so I can deal more with the man in the mirror. As long as I allowed certain things to be a distraction, I will never deal with the things I need to. So now I won't have any excuses.
It's time for a change. It's time for me to change. It is my prayer that when I return I will be a better Queeny on and off the board. I want to be a better wife, mother, friend, minister. I want to be rid of the bad habits I let hinder my spiritual growth like my anger, gossiping, and involving myself in wordly conversations, situations, and discussions. That doesn't mean I won't participate and enjoy the forums, it just means I will be wiser about the things I say, the things I post, and the discussions I join in. But most importantly, I must change because God changes not. If I want to be more like Him, I need to change because He won't change for me. He is the same God today, yesterday and forever more. I will miss you guys but I will be back and better than ever. You can follow me right here as I follow Him. Much love. Q