Monday, April 30, 2007

In case you were mistaken, I am not perfect either

Nope. Not me. The other day a friend of mine told me she needed to talk with me. I could tell it was serious by the tone of her voice. Then later when she pulled me aside, another friend of ours also followed along. We sat down and Friend A said "Friend B has something she needs to tell you. I already know because she shared it with me earlier today. She was afraid to tell you because she didn't know how you would react. She is ashamed and embarassed but did not want to keep any secrets from you. She is afraid that you will look at her differently or won't want to be her friend after she tells you". By this time Friend B is crying uncontrollably. I look at Friend A and say "yall are scaring me". Finally Friend B tells me her secret. I look at her and say "that's it?, girl we all make mistakes". I went on to tell her somethings about myself and I finally told her "it's not how you start but how you finish".

Later that day, I called Friend B and told her I was going to punch her in the face. She laughed and asked why. I told her "there is nothing she can tell me that will ever make me stop loving her". I told her not to ever feel like she can't tell me anything because heck, I may have done that and more. My life is surrounded by people who have made mistakes, major mistakes. Myself included. My Dad whom I love very much, was a drug addict, killed a drug dealer, and served time in jail. He is now and great father, grandfather, and husband.

I think sometimes people have this false sense of me as a person. Sure my life is great now but I am far from perfect. Back in the day I was a rowdy, stuck up, selfish, cussing, loud, fighting heathen. Okay so I am still loud but you get my point, lol. When people see or hear the title of Minister with my name, they assume that means perfection. I am human just like everyone else. Yes I am blessed to have my calling, and yes I do all I can to represent the role I have been given but, I am not perfect. I have made many mistakes and if I live longer, I will continue to make more. I don't look down on people because that is not what Christ would do. Even if I was the type of person to do so, I would hope that my friends would not be friends with me.

Some people are shocked and feel ashamed when they find out I am a minister. They start to think about all of the things they have said or done around me. They tell me they always knew something was different about mebut they just didn't know HOW different. I tell them that I am not going to try to change them. I am going to live my life and be the light that Christ wants me to be in this world. I want to show them that you don't have to do certain things to have fun. You can still be holy and have a good laugh. I am grateful because most people do show respect by trying to cut back on their cussing when they talk to me or when I am in their presence (thanks Monica). That is the ultimate compliment because it shows you not only respect GOD, and my title, but you respect me as a person. People are shocked when I ask them to pray for me. I have struggles too although you may not see it. I am not perfect but I am striving to be perfect. Q

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