Thursday, April 19, 2007

Parenting, the hardest job you will ever have

I can still remember the day I gave birth to my first child. I was amazed at how much love I felt for another person. It was like a part of my soul was now living and breathing in the body of a little baby girl. With each birth I felt the same way. It was as if the love I have magically multiplied and I was able to equally love all of my kids with the same amount of love. As they grew, I watched three little parts of my soul learn to walk, talk, and develop their own personalities.

But being a parent is hard. At night, I don't sleep with my door closed or theirs just so I can hear them. I am never in a deep enough sleep to not know what is going on. Even when they get up in the middle of the night, I can tell by the sounds which one of them is up. I want them to have a wonderful life and do all I can to provide for them but I can't always be there with them. It broke my heart when my daughter came home sad one day because she felt as if she didn't have any friends. Although I was able to make her feel better, I knew because of the world we live in, there would be more days she would feel sad and cry and there would be nothing I could do. It pained me to have to explain to them the difference between "okay touch and not okay touch". When I was telling them that no one should touch their "private areas", Destiny looked at me confused and asked "why would someone want to do that"? I then had to go further and explain it to her. I also had to teach them what to do if someone tries to take them. I even had them practice screaming and what words to use. It should not be soo hard but it is.

Earlier this week, I watched in horror like everyone else as the news came in about the Virginia Tech shooting. All I could think about was the parents of the 33 victims. I thought about how much they worried wondering if their son or daughter was alive. I thought about how they cried and was filled with pain, anger, and sadness when they received the news. I also thought about the parents of the killer. Although I don't excuse his actions and believe he will answer for them, he was still someone's child. I can't imagine finding out that not only is your child dead but that he killed himself, and took the lives of 32 people. People who were children of someone else. I know they wondered where did they go wrong with their son. They probably wondered, what could they have done to help him and stop him from taking such drastic measures.

As parents we take on everything when it comes to our kids. I know I would be filled with guilt knowing that the child I loved, and raised could do something so horrible. But just like we grow and make choices to do right or wrong, our children do too. So when our children do wrong, we have to love them for being apart of our souls and have peace if you have done the best you can. The rest is in GOD's hands. Q

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