Sunday, June 22, 2008

What about your friends (Part 2)

There is a saying that goes, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." But I feel nothing is worse than when your friend becomes your enemy. See with a person who has always been your enemy you always know where they are coming from. You know they don't mean you any harm anyway so you don't trust them as far as you can throw them. But a friend who becomes your enemy is bad. They are someone whom you've trusted, confided in, and cared for. They know the good, the bad, and the ugly about you and they can now use it against you.

I have issues with folks who are no longer friends. Well I have issues with the way things are handled when they are no longer friends. I was talking to someone a few years ago who had just had a falling out with a friend. They were telling me all of this person' business and just straight blasting them. I thought, "if they are saying that about her, I can imagine what they say about me." Now I know they were probably upset but it doesn't excuse their actions. If they were a true friend NOTHING would make them say what they said to me, NOTHING.

I know you are probably saying that is easier said than done. Well let me tell you a story. I knew someone I considered a friend while in college. We went out one night and had a blast. Some mess went down and we made a vow not to say a word. Well folks started speculating and she cracked like Humpty Dumpty. She only told the stuff that involved me and made me look bad. I was hurt, I was crushed, and it was hard to defend myself because I would have to go against my word. So no matter how hard it was, no matter how hurt I was, I didn't do it. I took the all of it on myself. That incident pushed me over the edge. I was darn near suicidal but I never said a word.

I learned so much from that incident. I know what it's like to be a true friend. I also know the hurt and pain you feel when a friend betrays you. It is because of that incident and others that I understand what friendship really is. I am still like that to this day. Whatever is told to me in confidence is kept in confidence. There is nothing you can say or do that will make me take what my friend has told me (as long as it's nothing illegal) and use it against them. I would never tell their secrets. I would never use their insecurities and hurl it back at them. I would never get so enraged that I would treat them like they were always my enemy. I would never cuss them out.

If you were my friend you won't have to worry about adding me to your enemy list. I don't get down like that. We may no longer be friends but I won't risk doing or saying something that would make it impossible for us to be friends in the future. If I have ever called you my friend then I meant it. The ending of the friendship doesn't change the fact that we were once friends. Call me stupid, call me a punk, call me whatever, but you won't be able to say I wasn't a friend. Q

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