Friday, October 26, 2007

Dear Mama

I was talking to a friend on the phone the other night and she asked me if I would put all of my life experiences out here in the blog world or in the book I am writing. I told her I would love to but at the same time I am cautious. Not because of how others would view me but how what I reveal would affect those who are closest to me specifically my mom.

My mom and I have a strong yet dramatic relationship. We have had some serious ups and downs but through it all, I know that she loves me. I know she has a little bit of guilt about the way things turned out in my life. I know she wishes she could have done things differently and made better choices. But I also know she has always wanted nothing but the best for me.

The good and the not so good I saw in her life, made me the person I am. Meaning the things that were good, I wanted for myself. The things that were not so good, I tried my best to avoid. From her eyes she probably only focuses on the not so good. But it is the lessons we get out of experiences that matter. I don't want to type, print, or post something to make her feel even more guilty. It's like Mary J. Blige once said "I forgive for everything but I blame you for nothing".

My mom is a beautiful, strong, intelligent, determined, a little crazy, but caring woman. All I am, and all I will be is because of her and the love she gave me and she continues to give. Mom don't ever feel bad or guilt about the past because it is what it is. Instead look at the present and the future and all the wonderful blessings that have come our way. I love you and although you drive me crazy, you are the BEST Mom in the entire world and I couldn't imagine my life without you. I LOVE YOU!!! Q

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