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Monday, June 30, 2008

Self Esteem Assignment #2

For this week, I want you to do something you don't usually do to make yourself feel good. You can get a massage, a manicure, pedicure or you can do those yourself. You can go out to eat at a nice restaurant alone or have a nice bubble bath. Sometimes I will just put on some feel good music and just sing loud and off key and dance my behind off. I want you to treat yourself because you deserve it. Do something that will make you smile. Q

Self esteem assignment #1

So I was chosen to be a mentor by a few ladies on a board I am a member of. I was so blessed and honored that they chose me. One of the things we are working on is self esteem. I must admit I wasn't always confident about myself. But over time, I've really learned to love myself. The first assignment for last week was for them to make a list of all the positive things in their life. Not a list of the things they liked about themselves but positive things. For instance, I have a wonderful husband, I have 3 great kids, I have a great job etc.

Once a person does that, they will be amazed at how many good things they have going on in their lives. I also told them that whenever they felt down, to pull out the list and say it out loud and to actually visualize the things listed. I've already received reports of how it helped them and I am so happy. Now it's your turn. Make a list of all the positive things in your life and look at it whenever you feel negative thoughts or emotions rising. Take care Q

Sunday, June 22, 2008

What about your friends (Part 2)

There is a saying that goes, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." But I feel nothing is worse than when your friend becomes your enemy. See with a person who has always been your enemy you always know where they are coming from. You know they don't mean you any harm anyway so you don't trust them as far as you can throw them. But a friend who becomes your enemy is bad. They are someone whom you've trusted, confided in, and cared for. They know the good, the bad, and the ugly about you and they can now use it against you.

I have issues with folks who are no longer friends. Well I have issues with the way things are handled when they are no longer friends. I was talking to someone a few years ago who had just had a falling out with a friend. They were telling me all of this person' business and just straight blasting them. I thought, "if they are saying that about her, I can imagine what they say about me." Now I know they were probably upset but it doesn't excuse their actions. If they were a true friend NOTHING would make them say what they said to me, NOTHING.

I know you are probably saying that is easier said than done. Well let me tell you a story. I knew someone I considered a friend while in college. We went out one night and had a blast. Some mess went down and we made a vow not to say a word. Well folks started speculating and she cracked like Humpty Dumpty. She only told the stuff that involved me and made me look bad. I was hurt, I was crushed, and it was hard to defend myself because I would have to go against my word. So no matter how hard it was, no matter how hurt I was, I didn't do it. I took the all of it on myself. That incident pushed me over the edge. I was darn near suicidal but I never said a word.

I learned so much from that incident. I know what it's like to be a true friend. I also know the hurt and pain you feel when a friend betrays you. It is because of that incident and others that I understand what friendship really is. I am still like that to this day. Whatever is told to me in confidence is kept in confidence. There is nothing you can say or do that will make me take what my friend has told me (as long as it's nothing illegal) and use it against them. I would never tell their secrets. I would never use their insecurities and hurl it back at them. I would never get so enraged that I would treat them like they were always my enemy. I would never cuss them out.

If you were my friend you won't have to worry about adding me to your enemy list. I don't get down like that. We may no longer be friends but I won't risk doing or saying something that would make it impossible for us to be friends in the future. If I have ever called you my friend then I meant it. The ending of the friendship doesn't change the fact that we were once friends. Call me stupid, call me a punk, call me whatever, but you won't be able to say I wasn't a friend. Q

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Taking it back to the old school


This is the first pic Thomas and I took as a couple. It was taken at our squadron's Christmas party in 1997. Don't we look great?!!! Q

Friday, June 20, 2008

What about your friends? Part 1

I've had this post on my mind for a minute now. I've learned a lot about friends and frienships over the years. I know what it takes to be a good friend, how to be one and how to rid yourself of those who aren't truly your friend. I've been thinking about this a lot lately because so many things have been going on in my life. I've seen and heard somethings that really made me say hmmm. Especially now that I am reconnecting with some friends from my past. Anyway some who I love sent me this email the other day and it talked about friends. It made me think long and hard so I wanted to share it with you. I will post more about friends in part 2 of this. Q

The Company You Keep

It is better to be alone than in the wrong company. Tell me who your
best friends are, and I will tell you who you are. If you run with
wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles,
you will learn how to soar to great heights. A mirror reflects a mans
face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he
chooses. The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those
with whom you closely associate for the good and the bad. The less you
associate with some people, the more your life will improve.

Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your
mediocrity.An important attribute in successful people is their
impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you
grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want
you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that
don't help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch
your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you will
eventually decrease you.

Consider This:
Never receive counsel from unproductive people.Never discuss your
problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because
those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not
everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the
worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.
Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere. With some people you spend
an evening: with others you invest it.Be careful where you stop to
inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who
fortifies his life with the right friendships.

Happy moments, Praise God
Difficult moments, Seek God
Quiet moments, Worship God
Painful moments, Trust God
Every moment, Thank God

If you see people without a smile today, give them one of yours.
Choose to rise...Don't settle...and go for your dreams!!!
And most of all let God lead you in everything you do.

"Do not ask God to order your footsteps, if you are not willing to move
your feet."

"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he
will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties."
Sir Francis Bacon

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

No more fros for me

On Father's Day I decided to rock my fro. I washed my hair while it was in braids and took my time combing each one out while applying some Miss Jessie's. My hair was big and beautiful. So off I went to put my little scarf on and it just flopped. Like Reggie Miller against the Knicks, it flopped. I was hurt and crushed. So I played around, messed with my hair and scarf and rocked a puff instead. I guess I should be happy that my hair is so long that I can't rock it the way I want but I was still sad. I can still wear one when I do a wash and go, I just can't fluff it out. Anyway, here is how I wore it on Sunday. Q

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Congratulations to the Celtics






Yes I am a Knicks fan at heart but I have so much respect for Kevin Garnett and Doc Rivers. I was in tears right along with them. They deserve it. Congrats to the Celtics, the city of Boston and their fans!!!! Q

New hair products and a review


One of the wonderful members from a board I am apart of sent me a private message one day. She was also my secret Santa this past Christmas and she gave me some wonderful gifts. Anyway she told me that she just recently created some hair products and wanted me to try them on the girls' hair. I said sure and I felt so honored. First let me say how shocked I was because she sent me full sized bottles of almost her entire line.

First the name of the line is Jasmine's Bath and Beauty Products. I received 5 products total. They were the shampoo, moisturizing conditioner, detangling leave in spray, the cream rinse and the coconut conditioning masque. I used everything except for the masque on the girls. Why? Because I am saving that for me and what. So anyway here is the info.

Shampoo- First a little goes a long way. It lathers extremely well. What I loved about it is the way it made their hair feel. It felt clean but not stripped. It was conditioned but it wasn't sticky. I can't explain it because no shampoo has ever done that. Their hair was soft just from using it.

Super moisturizing conditioner- It was creamy but not to thick. It did not leave the hair heavy and coated and rinsed out well.

Cream Rinse- it was thicker than the conditioner- I put it on the girls' hair and did the steam treatment. This is really a keeper for Destiny because her hair gets super dry but after rinsing, it was soft and moisturized.

Detangling Leave In Spray- I don't even want to tell yall about this because I know it is going to be out of stock soon. When I first saw it in the bottle, I was shocked because it is thick and it is in a spray bottle. That tells me that she didn't just put a lot of water and crap in it but quality ingredients. Seriously it doesn't just wet the hair, it coats it. It doesn't leave it heavy but silky so when you comb or brush, it just glides. When it first goes on, it feels a little greasy but as you work it in it is not greasy at all. Can I say I love this stuff?!!!! Yup it is right up there with my beloved Pantene hair mask. Seriously words cannot describe it at all. It is that good!!! Yup it helped with Bria. Yall know how I've been struggling with her hair and man, the tangles didn't stand a chance.

I already know the masque will be the bomb so I don't even need to try it to write about it. Let me also say she was also nice enough to send the girls some of her homemade lip balm and a shampoo bar for me!!! So there you have it. Yall know how serious I am about my hair and my kids' hair and these products are the truth. You get what you pay for and they are worth every dime. I will take some pics of the girls' hair tomorrow so you can see just how healthy and moisturized it looks.

Thank you D for allowing me to try your products. You have a brand new customer for life. Don't forget me when you hit the big time and go on Oprah!!! Q

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day

To all the Fathers out there, I hope you enjoy your day. As usual my girls went above and beyond. They gave their dad lots of handmade gifts. They even made him a crown that says, "#1 Dad" and a scepter to go with it. Here is a pic:


Destiny and Bria made personal cards and here are some pics.
This one is Bria's


On the inside it reads, "Dad you make the garden grow. We as your seeds, are your children. Water us with things we need to know and we will grow just like you."

This is Destiny's card:


It says, "Happy Father's Day. I am going to like you today!"

Gotta love the kids. Q

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Old friends new relationships

Today I took the day off to take care of some things around the house. I had the opportunity to reconnect with some old friends on a website for people who attended my high school. By the end of the day, I had spoken with 3 friends from high school. It was nice to hear from them and to just catch. We talked a little about high school but mainly about our current lives. Just like everyone else, they've had some ups and downs but everyone was doing well and enjoying life. It was really great speaking with them and we promised to keep in touch. I am looking forward to the future and seeing where our friendship will go. I thank God that time and distance allowed each of us to mature and grow and being able to finally connect at just the right time to be a part of each other lives. Once again it is a testimony of how God works in mysterious ways. I wasn't expecting any of this today but it made my day off even more wonderful!!! Q

Monday, June 09, 2008

Chocolate craving!!!



I was craving these the other night and I made them. Yes they were good and my chocolate craving has been satisfied. Q

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Hair growth update


As part of my 12 week mission, I also got serious about growing my hair. I've dabbled with some growth aides and I think it is working. I started around the end of April and was at 9.5 inches. As you can see, I am now at 10.5. So I am finally averaging about an inch a month!! Q

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

How I outsmarted the devil

This is a post I've wanted to make for awhile but put off. Then today someone posted this on a message board I frequent:
SO and I just hit a rough patch following a heart to heart convo we had. I called a former boss (male, that I'm really close with) and he was giving me great advice and when he mentioned "I know you love him more than life itself so it's going to be hard...." I didn't stop him but I was thinking WOW people say that all the time but do they really mean it? I'm not sure if "i love anyone more than life".... I love my existence it's all I know....how can I put someone above that? I'm assuming if you love someone more than life itself that you are willing to lay down to let the other have life? My dad use to say that when we were kids...but is this the extent of it...can you really love your lover more than your own life? I
know Jesus gave his only son that we could all have life so it's correct to assume this is the way we suppose to love/live?

Thoughts?


Anyone who knows me knows I hate phrases like he/she completes me, I am nothing without him/her, he/she is my world, I can't imagine living without him/her. I have said before and I believe with every fiber of my being that words have power. You see I believe that statements like that are too powerful to be spoken lightly. Because if you say it often enough, you will believe it, live it and they will be true.

You see the devil uses phrases like that to hold people hostage. Some people give the devil way too much credit. He is not omniscient and only knows what we give him. He knows from our actions. He knows from our WORDS. When he knows how we feel about ourselves, or someone, or something he uses that against us. In the case of the phrases above, especially concerning relationships, he does one of several things. He will 1)Keep that person in your life so they will continue to be your focus. You will love and adore this person. Put all of your faith and trust in them therefore putting in the place of God. 2)He will allow the other person to see this so they will use it to control you. You will be used, taken advantage of and blame God. You will either stay and be miserable or leave and be bitter and angry at God. 3)He will take that person from you which will crush you. You will be so lost and so damaged and will began to blame God.

This is what I posted to the young lady: There is nothing wrong with loving your spouse/SO but they are human. I don't put 100% trust, love and faith in anyone but God. Not even my kids. Yes I do love them to death meaning until I die and will do just about anything for them. But my love for them pales in comparison to the love I have for the one who gave me life.

I outsmarted the devil because I understand the power of my words. I am careful about the words I speak. I am careful about how I prioritize the people and things in my life. GOD is always first. He is my first love, my true love, and he is the only one I need to live. He is the one I can't imagine my life without. He is my world, my everything. I can say that because the devil can't touch Him. God is not only all knowing but he is also all powerful. He is not man and cannot lie. He will never leave me or forsake me. He has the final say about my future. He says in His word, "I am the Lord your God. I am a jealous God. Thou shall have no other gods before me."

We make little g.o.d.s out of too many things with our words. He is simply not talking about a being. He is talking about anything that takes the place of God in our lives. It could be your job, it could be the internet, it could be your spouse, your kids anything that you allow to be your god. Always put God first. Outsmart the devil by making God your main focus. Romans 10:9 that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; The first step to be saved is confessing with your MOUTH with WORDS!!!

Start by beginning everyday by acknowledging Him first and thanking Him with your mouth. Your words can be used against you. So choose your words carefully and outsmart the devil!!! Q

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

A proud day for America


I honestly can't put my feelings into words. So instead I will simply say Congratulations Senator Obama!!!! Q

Friday, May 30, 2008

Song and video I am loving right now



I had the opportunity to meet Neyo last year after seeing him in concert. I have a lot of respect for the way he handled himself. I was super excited to hear that he was releasing another album this year and the title suits him well. After the "Go On Girl" video, I was hesitant but he didn't disappoint. I love the black and white look of the video. His dancers are on point as usual and his dancing is elaborate but smooth at the same time. Oh and the fact that he is paying homage to MJ just makes me love it even more. Q

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Healthy hair tips

I pretty much have the hair thing down as you can see. I rarely have issues with my hair and it grows pretty quickly. It is also super thick and healthy. Here is some info I feel are essential to having beautiful, long, thick and healthy natural hair.

First I think you need to invest in quality tools. I only use bone combs, a natural boar bristle brush, denman brush, satin scarves/bonnets or pillowcases, vitamin c shower filter, micro fiber hair towels, and a pair of good hair cutting scissors. These items are a little pricey but it is worth it.

Next you need to find what works for your hair. I have tried everything but my staple lines are Envia, Sauve and Pantene. I also have organic coconut oil and castor oil. Don't be afraid to try stuff you think may not work. Buy sample or travel sizes and see how your hair responds.

Once you have a regimen down, you need to baby your hair. I take my time detangling with my bone comb and then follow with a denman to get rid of the shed hair. I wash my hair in 4 sections and apply coconut oil or castor oil to my ends. My regimen changes slightly with the weather.

Right now I am washing or co-washing, every other day. Once a month I use a clarifying shampoo and do a deep condition. If I see any serious split ends, I trim them with my scissors. When I do press my hair, I use my maxi-glide and I never get it super straight. I leave that up to my beautician and I get that done every six months along with a trim.

Pay attention to your hair and treat it accordingly. When my hair is dry, I step up the moisture by either co washing more often or spraying on a mix of distilled water and fermodyl 619 daily. If my ends are brittle, I may sure to seal them with an oil. I also massage my scalp with a little bit of castor oil or coconut oil.

If you are dealing with 2 textures and transitioning, you need to take extra care especially when combing. Detangle while wet with a lot of conditioner. Gradually trim off the relaxed ends. Play around with hairstyles like braid outs or put your hair in neat buns. Use some oil, a brush, and a scarf to smooth down the edges.

Lastly, baby your hair from the inside out. Drink lots of water. Take quality vitamins and minerals. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. You can also take MSM, biotin, flaxseed oil, or a vitamin for hair.

I hope this helps someone and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. Happy Hair Growing!!!! Q

My hair journey

So a young lady sent me an email about my hair and I told her to give me a ring so I could give her the info. I haven't heard from her so I will just put the info on here. I am getting older and these kids kill my brain cells so excuse me if I forget some stuff.

In October of 2001 my family and I arrived in Albuquerque, NM. I was relaxed at the time. My hair wasn't thriving. The weather here was really dry and I just couldn't take it. Plus I hadn't found a beautician that I trusted yet. By November, I decided to go natural. At the time, the plan was to eventually transition back to being relaxed. My hair was about mid back length at the time. Here is a pic that was taken during Thanksgiving of 2001.


In January of 2002, I decided to take another step towards being natural. I cut my hair to a chin length bob. I had about 3 months worth of new growth. I wore that for a hot minute and then decided to use braids to complete my transition. I wore braids pretty much that entire year. My youngest daughter was born that year so I was able to get some really good growth. Here is a pic taken at a bridal shower right after the cut.


In April of 2003, I was at a military school in Mississippi. I had my youngest with me and discovered she had lice. I know, just ew. In a fit of panic, I decided to treat myself just in case and cut my remaining relaxer off. I was able to put my hair in a ponytail and did my first set of twists. I pretty much didn't know how to handle being natural and just nurtured my hair the best I could.

In 2004 while searching for an old website, I stumbled across another hair forum. I joined and really got excited about having natural hair. The site had women of all hair types, textures and lengths. That same year I played around with hair color and my hair once again hit brastrap length.
Here are some pics from that time:



Later that year, I got bored with the length and cut it. Here is a press I had done after the cut:



I pretty much grew it out wearing twists and braid outs. I began to wash my hair more often and making sure it was moisturized. Here are some twists from that time:


On October 1, 2005 I went to the hairdresser with long natural hair and left with a short afro. I had never had it like that before and figured it was now or never. My beautician hesitated but finally did what I'd asked. I don't have any pics but I had to renew my license around that time so here is a pic of that:


My hair didn't take too well to the cut and grew like a weed. My little fro wasn't cute so back in braids I went. For the next 2 years I wore extension twists, twists with my own hair and just played with different styles. I did a lot of wash and go's and babied my hair. Every 6 months, I would get it pressed and trimmed. I get about an inch trimmed each time. I got it pressed for Easter in April of 2007 and realized how much my hair had grown. Here is a pic:


I continued with my same regimen until October of 2007 when I discovered, I was brastrap length again. Here is a pic:


That is my hair journey. My next post will provide tips and tricks I feel are essential to healthy hair. Q

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Ask God

Yesterday my Pastor spoke at an ordination service. His topic was the title of this post. I decided to blog about it because I think it is key to serving the Lord. He spoke from 1 Samuel 23 in which David had to defend Keilah against the Philistines. In 3 instances, David was faced with a decision. Instead of listening to those around him for guidance, David inquired of the Lord. David asked God.

I remember when I finally stepped into my calling as a minister. I struggled because I had read and heard that women should not be ministers. Although I knew God called me, I was worried about others and began to question my calling. I remember going to my Pastor about it. He gave me some info to research the historical aspects of things, some scriptural references and his own views on the situation. Finally he looked at me and said, "Q, all of this stuff will help you. But honestly you really only need to ask one person." Then he pointed upward. Later I heeded his words and asked God. God said to me, "I called YOU." That was all I needed to hear.

I have the utmost respect for those in leadership positions in the church. God has placed them there to lead His people and to help us. But I also understand that they are still men and women. They are flawed just like I am. And unlike God, they don't know everything. It is important for us to not get caught up in others so much that we forget who we serve. Sometimes God has something just for you that others won't understand. Even so called Christians will talk about you and look at you sideways when you are doing something they don't understand. But if you ask God and He is guiding you, what they say shouldn't matter.

We need to stop looking down on our brothers and sisters because they don't dress the way we think they should, don't praise the way we think, or don't serve God on a day we think it should be done. We focus and battle each other on so much stuff all for the sake of being right. I am not saying we shouldn't discuss things and work stuff out. But God is a God of order. Most importantly, He is God. He wants His will to be done. We are here to lead others to Him. To bless others. To help others.

Ask God about how YOU should live your life. Ask God about how YOU should serve Him. When God answers, because he will, then you do what the Lord says and forget about everyone else. Let them talk. Let them shake their heads. Let them look down on you. You do what the Lord told you to do.

A few years ago, I stumbled across something that I thought would make my husband and I a lot of money. I look, I researched, we prayed and finally we asked God. We got the release to go ahead. At first, things were going great but then later not so much. Once again we asked God and we didn't get the release to walk away. By this time, folks were looking at us like we were crazy and began to question whether God was telling us to proceed. After awhile, we finally got the release to move on after asking God and we did. Now to others, it looked like we failed. To them they think we were not following God's word. We kind of knew how Job felt during that time. It was hard, and it was frustrating. But what they don't know is the blessings and the lessons we got out of the situation. We were able to bless people. We were able to meet people we would not have otherwise met. We learned so much about trusting God in spite of others. We learned to just lean on God and allow Him to guide us. That situation opened so many doors for us. Because of our obedience when it would have been so easy to walk away, God has blessed us all the more. We look back and smile even though there are some who still question us. We have peace because we know before we did anything, we ASKED GOD!!!! Ask God, He will answer you. Q

Friday, May 23, 2008

Lemon Icing Recipe

Someone asked me for the recipe for the lemon icing I used on the Sour Cream Pound Cake . It is real simple and I sometimes add food coloring to make it bright yellow.
2 cups of confectioner's sugar
4-6 T of lemon juice (amount depends on consistency)
Whisk until smooth.

I am going to buy a new digital camera soon so I promise to put up more pics and recipes. Thanks to everyone who read and post comments. Love ya. Q

Monday, May 19, 2008

My new baby is here!!!!



I know you are probably saying, "so what, you got a new hair dryer." But sadly, you are wrong. What you are looking at is my new hair steamer. I decided to name her April after my friend who told me about them. What's so special about a steamer? Well it adds moisture of course, helps with deep conditioning and is excellent with the detangling. It doesn't dry your hair, instead it infuses it with moisture and whatever conditioner you use along with it. For me it is essential living in a dry climate. But it is good for anyone because you use pure water in it so your hair is not steamed with hard water, chlorine or any other chemicals. I can't wait to use it on Wednesday!!! I plan on doing weekly steam treatments. Take care Q

Oh if you want to buy it, you can check it out here. Yes that is the price including shipping. Q