Late night rant thanks to yahoo

I went to check my email and on the front page was a story about Kirk Cameron. I read it and then read some of the comments that made me write this post. Why is it when a Christian voices an opinion against something, folks are quick to say they are judging or say they need to worry about themselves? If that was the case, none of us would be able to say a word about anyone. Iron sharpens iron. If someone is called by God to speak the truth, don't assume they hate you, are judging you or isn't take care of their own mess. We all have sinned and fallen short but that doesn't mean we should hold our tongues because someone doesn't agree.

Take a walk in someone's shoes and know for those of us in ministry, you have no idea what it's like to be us. NONE!! Most people couldn't and wouldn't do what we do. Yeah that's harsh but it's true. Most people are way too selfish and too worried about what others think to do this. This calling is not always easy. While you are eating your lunch and enjoying your day, we are fasting. While you are spending your day watching shows, we are studying the word. While you are on the phone gossiping, cussing, and being nasty, we are praying. While you are out shopping and enjoying your day off, we are out helping the homeless and using our free time to bless others. Some days I pray more for others than I do for myself!!! Not because I think I'm better because I know if I take care of God's business, He will take care of mine.

A lot of times we ourselves struggle with what God says. Not because we want to do the sin but we realize that speaking out will put off those we love. I've been called and treated like a crazy bible thumper. I've always tried to speak the truth in love. However, when folks don't "get" me to see or think their way, I've had folks I thought I knew trash me like I was some stranger on the street. Although I have never called them out of their name, looked down on them, or treated them the same. But I still love and pray for them.

Do you know how hard it is to say something you know might hurt someone you love but also know that if you don't, there is a higher price to pay? That is my life every day!!!! I am often accused of being hateful when it is the exact opposite. It is because I love that I tell the truth. It is because I love that I pray for those who talk about me. It is because I love that I want to help folks miss hell and make Heaven. It is because I love that I do what God calls me to do even if I will lose those I love here on Earth.

Yes God is love but God is also a jealous and just God. He is the same God who destroyed the world with water, who struck down the liars where they stood, who killed the Roman army. He does not play!!! Therefore, I don't play with Him. I won't add to or water down His word to appease man. Now I don't agree with "some" Christians and the way they say stuff. But if at the root is God's truth, I can agree with that only. You don't know the cross I carry everyday!!! So before you make assumptions about those of us who are called to serve, understand we are not here to please man, we want to please God!! You don't have to agree, believe, or accept what we have to say, but we are going to still say it. In the end, we know God will look at us and say, well done. Q

I am not my hair!!!!

Yeah I know that line is so cliche but it's fitting. On Sunday I decided to finally cut my hair after over a year of going back and forth about it. I told my cousin I would wait until after her wedding and took some more time to think on it. I was torn for so many reasons. I love having long hair. I love the looks on folks faces when they see my hair. Especially other black women who never thought this "type" of hair could grow so long. I was one of them. I was the little girl who had a decent length of hair but envied those who had long hair and appeared to be "mixed." I too believed my hair wouldn't grow "that" long. But as I got older, I realized a lot of it had nothing to do with genetics and more to do with the care and nurturing of my hair. I had plenty of examples in my own family.

But then the itch to cut was calling me. I got tired of fighting with it. In these last months, I'd begun to slack on my hair. I knew then I had to do it. I'm a hair snob. I like seeing healthy hair whether relaxed or natural and I know my hair wasn't being done right. It wasn't right for me to treat it like that. So instead of going down the same path, I decided to let it go.

I think everyone else took the cut harder than I did. But I get it, I really do. I know I have been an inspiration for so many people. I know I have given out countless tips, and a lot of advice to women over the years. I know they would come to my blog just to look at my pics and use them for encouragement. I get it.

It's amazing how my identity was intertwined with the length of my hair. That is one of the first things people comment on when they meet me or see me. The day I cut my hair, I went to the store. I saw this girl with long hair and she looked at mine. I would be lying if I said I wasn't insecure for a moment. I wonder if folks see me and think I've always had short hair. Should I carry around a picture of myself with long hair to prove I had short hair by choice? I quickly shook off any feelings of insecurity and continued on. I know and that's all that matters.

Today is day 3 and I have no regrets about my decision. I've been overwhelmed by the response from people when I tell them about donating my hair. When I look in the mirror, or rub my hands over my head, I smile. I smile because I love the way I look and feel. I love knowing my hair is going to bless someone who is battling cancer. I love it because this is another beginning for me. I love it because I am showing my daughters that there is more to me, to them than what is on the outside. I love it because I know my hair is going to grow back. I love it because I did it for ME and not for anyone else.

I am a wife, mother, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, mentor, business owner, blogger, student, and minister. I am honest, loving, giving, happy, blessed, free, and kind. I listen to people, I pray for them, I give of my time to others, and try to be a blessing when I can. I am a child of the Most High. I am so much more than the hair on my head. Q

Happy Sweet 16 to me!!!!

Yes I am celebrating my sweet 16, again. I know a lot of people have said they don't want to be 16 again but neither do I. LOL But I celebrate it because 16 was a major turning point in my life. It was a little over 16 years ago today when I made the decision to skip the 11th grade and graduate a year early. I believe that decision completely changed my life and brought me to where I am now. If I would have waited, would I have gone to the college I went to? That experience was horrible and made me decide to get away and join the military. It was in the military that I met my wonderful husband. Here we are, happily married with 3 beautiful kids. Who knows who or what I would have become. Either way, I am thankful for the path I eventually took. It wasn't always easy but nothing worth having is. So I say thank you to that 16 year old who made that decision all those years ago. Happy Birthday to me!!!! Q

Love all around me

I know it's been a minute but I've been super busy, in a good way. Tomorrow is my birthday. I turn 16.... again. I am so excited. I have a party planned next Saturday at the bowling alley with me and a bunch of my girls. We are going to have some good clean fun. I've already received a bunch of cards, gifts and well wishes. I can truly say, I am very blessed. I have an amazing husband, 3 wonderful little girls, a great dog, and loving friends and family. I pray everyone has the love that I have in my life. Everywhere I look, I see not only the love of man, but the love of God. I thank Him for His many, many blessings. My name is Queneesha and I am loved!!!! Q

Girl's night out

I took my girl Candice out to dinner because she will be moving soon. I am soo going to miss her. So I decided to take a couple of flicks while getting ready. Here you go. Q

My kids are so wise

I was rolling my hair and watching "Last Holiday" with B and D. D turns to me and says, "mom Queen Latifah acts just like you?" At first I was scared to ask but figured what the heck. So I asked, "how?" She replied, ""well she doesn't care about what people say or think about her." There was a long pause and then she said, "and she's tough." LOL Q

My name is Queeny and....

I am addicted to buying body products. This was going to be a lighthearted post about my love for body scrubs, oils, lotions, and perfumes but the more I thought about it, the more I felt the need to open up. Before I go any further, let me say please don't feel sorry for me. I am fine and I just felt the need to share in hopes my story will bless someone. That is the purpose of this blog anyway so here goes.

Every addiction has an event or series of events that led up to it. Whether it's alcohol or drug abuse. Those memories, those thoughts and experiences feed the addiction. Well mine isn't any different. I guess it started around the time I hit puberty. That's when my body started changing and it kind of went down hill from there. I am what most of us would consider the person with the bad body odor. Or at least I was. I remember it really picking up in Junior High School. One day, our chorus director mentioned that someone needed to wash under their arms because there as a musty odor. After she left, I remember one of the girls going around sniffing everyone's arms and then she got to me and stopped. It was a horrible time and people used it to hurt me. When I would get in an argument with someone, they would say the most hurtful things. I remember this one girl that I considered my friend just yelling at me and telling me I stunk and then having others join in agreement. What could I say, it was true. She tried to apologize but the damage was done.

Now before you jump to conclusions, understand my problem wasn't bad hygiene practices. But I didn't know it at the time. I remember crying myself to sleep at night and praying that God would help me. This cycle continued over the years getting worse. I remember hearing a family member I lived with was talking about how stink I was and she even told me that the reason by boyfriend broke up with me was because I stunk. That hurt me to the core. He never confirmed it but I still often wonder if that was the reason.

Over the years I learned to deal with it. Whenever I noticed myself getting sweaty, I would excuse myself and go change or wash. It was to the point where I was washing almost 4 times a day. I started getting into body products to mask the odor but that didn't help. That's why the stories people told about me sleeping with this person and that person are hilarious because I was so self conscious about my odor that I barely wanted anyone to touch me. It wasn't until I was in the military that I got fed up. I went to see my assigned nurse practitioner, hoping and praying she had an answer for me. After asking me some questions, she finally told me, I had what she had, hyperhidrosis or excessive sweating.

From there I realized the sweating bred bacteria which then of course stunk leaving me with a musty odor. I made it my mission to find out more about it. The internet wasn't big like it is now so I took to the library and began to research. It went further than the sweating. I found out about how our bodies function and how food plays a role in odor as well. I also learned about body chemistry and how certain smells can react negatively with your natural body scent therefore giving off a less than desirable odor.

So here I am in my 30's and I guess my past still haunts me so to speak. I guess subconsciously, I still have issues with what I experienced growing up. I take about 2 showers everyday. I make sure I wear breathable clothing. I carry wipes and a arsenal of other items just in case I have one of those episodes. I am very much aware of my body and what goes well with my chemistry. When someone tells me I smell good, I can feel a part of my past just peeling away. It's as if those words are undoing the harsh ones I heard growing up. I am also very tuned in to the Supremes and I hope and pray they don't inherit this condition from me. But if they do, I will be right there to help them so they can avoid what I went through. So many people dismissed me and just said, "well you need to wash" not knowing it was deeper than that. I don't want that to happen to them.

So yes, I have an addiction. I love for my body to be nice, clean and smelling good. As you can see from the pic above, I have several scrubs. That is down from the almost 20 I had at one point. I won't even post a pic of the oils, and lotions I own!!!! I don't think it will ever stop because now it is far deeper than the my past. There is something about a nice scrub at the end of a long hard day. I love slathering on lotion and massaging my body. Then curling up under the covers and smell the linger of the lotion or oil I just put on. I love the glow my body has from being exfoliated just right. I love my nice brown even skin tone. I love how the Supremes are always rubbing on my arm and telling me how soft I feel. I love when my husband cuddles up under me and say, "umm you smell soo good." Yup I'm addicted and proud of it!!! Q


For those who may be suffering, here are some links to help you. And please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. Much love. Q
Hyperhidrosis
More info
Web MD

New Year scripture

Phil 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Just want to say to all of my followers, lurkers, commenters, friends, family and folks who email me, I love you all and I pray 2010 will bring you more love, more life, and more laughs!!!! Q

I'm really happy for you and imma let you finish but.... Part 2

I decided to finish it over here so the other post wouldn't be so long.

Stop Whining!!!
Whew goodness I can't take whining. Not from kids and esp not from grown folks. Man if some folks would spend as much time they spend whining on doing something productive, their life will be so much better. Now I understand stuff happens. Heck I've had my share of pity parties too. But all the time? Every freaking month? Go back and read my YOU series because you really need too. Talking and whining and crying won't change a thing. Esp if you are focusing on your past. You can't change it, you can't make it better, so move the heck on already. If you keep finding yourself in mucked up situations, then you are the reason and no one else. I honestly think some people live off the attention that mess brings them. Oh so and so, you are pretty, you are a good person, it's okay, I'm here for you, blah blah blah blah blah. Not me, not the kid. Once I notice a pattern I check out. I'll say one quick prayer and then I'm done. If you are tired of being fat, lose weight. If you are tired of being broke, spend less, and save more. It's much simpler than people realize.

Oh our beloved celebrities. The people we put in the place of God. Some folks will cuss you out if you talk about their celeb but won't say boo when someone curses God. Then we get all upset and mad when our precious celeb does something wrong in our eyes. We are so shocked and hurt and upset. They are people too. They have to put their pants on one leg at a time, if you (allegedly) bust them upside the head with a golf club, they will bleed. I mean really. What you should do is hold them accountable when it comes to what they are supposed to do. Stop supporting folks who put out crappy albums with nothing but fluff and catchy songs. Stop going to their concerts and making them rich. And when they do mess up, stop being so quick to give them passes or make excuses for them. "Oh well what did she do, or what did he do to her?" Heck to that, wrong is wrong. Call them out on it just like you would anyone in your life. Don't give them a pass simply because their poster is hanging on your wall.

And while I am on the topic of men and women, it's time for us to man up and woman up. The standards today for men and women have been lowered BIG TIME. I mean really? Really? Listen I know we are human and we make mistakes but some stuff we can avoid. You know like cheating on our spouses and stealing money from folks. You don't just wake up screwing someone you are not married to. It takes time and planning, and skill. Way before you get to the actual act, you have plenty of time to not do it. We also need to be responsible in other areas. If you owe someone, pay them. If you did something wrong, apologize. And stop lumping men and women into all these categories. Well all men cheat and all women do this and that. How do you know? I don't believe you, you need more people. I believe there is more good men who are faithful to their wives. Who understand any man can cheat but REAL MEN keep the vows they make. I believe there are more great mothers who will bite the head off a rattlesnake to save her child than there are those who would sell their child into sex slavery for some drugs.

And speaking of parents. Le sigh!!! It amazes me to see parents put on these elaborate shows to convince their child that Santa exists but once Christmas is over, they don't spend any time with that child. Too many parents are letting the tv, internet, game systems and teachers raise their children. Now I will be the first one to say, I used to look forward to the Supremes growing up. But now, I am happy my 11 year old, acts and looks like an 11 year old. We are too quick to make our kids grow up. We push them away as soon as they can walk or talk. But that's when the real parenting begins. We can tell you the colors of Mac's blush line but can't tell you when was the last time we went on a field trip, or a school event. Your children are not your friends. Above everything else, they need our love and our time. If you start good habits while they are young, they will continue. I get mad when folks act like their children are burdens. They didn't ask to be here!!! Esp when their are folks who would love to have kids and can't. Turn the tv off, and play games with them. Log off twitter and read with them. Stop buying them McDonald's making them fat, and cook healthy foods with them. Nothing to do on the weekends, go to the library with them. Go to a craft store like Hobby Lobby and do something fun with them. Learn a new language or how to play an instrument right along with them. On the flip side, stop pushing them to be baby geniuses. Yes they need to work on schoolwork but give them a chance to be kids too. Oh and rethink your old school ways because real talk esp for African Americans, if that stuff worked, we would be in better positions than we are now. It's okay if your kids speak proper English, or don't know the songs to every Lil Wayne song. You don't have to spank them every time they do something wrong. Maybe if you spent more time with them, they wouldn't act out so much.

Lastly, if God be God, let Him be God. If you believe God can do all things but fail, then let Him do it. Don't limit Him or say well I am just this way or that way. Because then you don't believe. If you are going to let go and let God, don't go back and try to put your hand in it or try to help God. God doesn't need your help!!!

Okay I'm done for real. I love all of you and I pray what I have said will make you examine some of the things you have said or done in your life. With the new year coming in, let us all resolve to better. Let's be better men, women, daughters, sons, mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, and friends. Find people who are like you and striving to be better and encourage them. Put a stop to the foolishness you see and hear and watch the company you keep. Stop the gossiping, lies, whining and cattiness. Above all, always put God first PERIOD. Q

I'm really happy for you and imma let you finish but....

Before 2009 ends, I just need to get some things off my chest. I figured today was the best day to do it since folks will probably get over it once tomorrow comes. :) Anyway, this year has been one for the record books. Not just in the world but in my life as well. I can look back and see how I've grown and how much growth is still needed. I can't say I am perfect, but I am better and getting better everyday. Those who know me, know I don't hold my tongue, EVER. That's just not my style. This is not being passive aggressive or taking shots at anyone. This is stuff I've seen, been a part of or needed to check myself about in the past year. So this post isn't going to be different. I know it may set some folks off but I hope it makes you mad enough to take a good look, stop what you are doing, and make things better. Okay? Ready, set, go!!!!

To my fellow Christian brothers and sisters please study the word for yourself. I am tired of these crazy backwards sayings being applied to God when they don't have any biblical foundation whatsoever. Stop putting God in your box and trying to get Him to conform to your ways. You should conform to His. And stop getting mad telling Him what you will and won't do like you are doing something special. God will still be God whether you serve Him or not. Stop half stepping when it comes to serving Him. Fornication is a sin, lying is a sin, adultery is a sin, cursing is a sin. Just because you haven't murdered someone, that doesn't make you an angel. You are still a sinner so repent. Don't get mad when you don't receive the blessings you deserve when you are shacked up with someone day in and day out.

Which brings me to my next point:
Ladies please, please, please demand more respect for yourself. I know some of yall will say Oh Q you can say this and that because you are married. But let me tell you something, I love myself enough to not settle. Believe that!!! Trust T wasn't the only dude that wanted to be with me. I turned down plenty because I knew they weren't about anything. Stop begging, pleading, crying and acting crazy to try to get some dude to "put a ring on it." Beyonce' got yall heads messed up. Maybe him not putting a ring on it,is a blessing in the disguise. He is probably not the one for you. I don't believe it takes a man years or you having to tell him the benefits of being married for him to do it. Maybe he wants to be married, just not to you. Maybe he is waiting for the right one to come along and just keeping you around because he doesn't want to be alone. Why deal with that? You see the signs, you know he is not the one, so instead of waiting for him to break your heart, take control and end it yourself. Stop giving it up to dudes and look deeper than how fine he is, or how much money he got.

My next point, log off and live life!!! I love the internet don't get me wrong. I love being on twitter, FB, and my blog. But some people have taken it too far. Their life revolves around the computer screen and their e-friends and foes they come in contact with online. I mean really if someone can say something on a site to set you off, make you cry, or make you feel bad about your life then you need to get it together. If the only people you have to discuss your life with is folks you only know by their screenname, then you need to log off and get some real friends. Folks are literally letting life pass them by because they are hung up on folks they have never seen or met. Taking advice from people, envying folks and changing your life just because ImSoSexyAndYouNot83 said it, is not the business okay. If you get off work and rush home just to log to the computer instead of calling up a good friend, or reading a good book, Houston YOU have a problem. Understand the folks you "think" you know could be blowing smoke in your face. They will have you thinking you need to be a certain size, wear certain clothes, eat at certain places, and on and on when really you need to just be you. They are probably fat, broke, and manless but yet you are hanging on to their every word like they Jesus. Take what is said and posted online with a grain of salt. If you are having problems in life, being on the internet all day won't make them go away. Log off and spend some time, living in the real world.

Lastly, if you are over the age of 25, it's way past time to grow the heck up. This year I made it a mission to stop being caught up in a bunch of gossip, drama, and foolishness. It was rough going at first because who doesn't like to hear some good gossip? But when I took a good hard look, I realized I was just like the people that didn't like me. If I wanted to be better, I had to do better and I did. I removed myself from some forums because they made it too easy for me to get caught up. But even though I have put that behind me, some folks haven't. They are still doing the same old same old. If all you do is post on a bunch of forums talking about folks, stirring up drama behind the scenes, sniggling and and giggling at folks all day, you need a life. SERIOUSLY!!! If you are friends with someone who gossips, keeps mess going, and is all around messy, don't be surprised if they do the same to you. It's time for folks to grow up and instead of tearing folks down, you should try to build them up. And stop playing follow the leader being mad with folks because your e-friend doesn't like them. Stand alone and make decisions for your own self. Everyone isn't going to get along. That doesn't mean you have to jump in on one side and try to bully someone else. And if you don't like the person so much, then don't talk to them, twitter them, or worry about them. Oh and stop being mad cuz folks like me and you don't. Trying to throw salt and discredit me reflects badly on you and not me. If I am such a bad person then folks will see it. Or maybe I'm not and you just want me to be. Either way, if you don't like me, keep my name outcha mouth. I mean who does that? Get a life already!!!

Whew that felt good. I know I will probably edit this because I have more to add but this is a start!!! Q

Catching up

I know I haven't posted in forevuwary but so much has happened. I am off most of this week so I will break each down in detail so here goes:
B had a follow up appt. Everything is going well and she has to go back in 4 months.

T went to the ER one night. He has gallstones and has to get his gallbladder removed.

I finished school!!!

I finally saw my boo Vince Carter. Whew goodness that post will be amazing.

D turned 9 and we had her party. There was drama but turned out great.

T got one of his presents earlier than planned. Talk about quick delivery.

My business will be up and running soon. I've got amazing feedback can't wait to share.

I'm starting another blog, this one about the Supremes hair.

Thinking about closing my fitness one and just sticking to this one and the new one. I've neglected it big time so we'll see.

I think that's it. More to follow including more hilarious Supreme tales. Q

Best birthday ever?

Okay so I've had a few great ones but this one is right up top. Last year was hard for me, real hard. I was dealing with turning 30, not reaching my goals, and not being able to share it with someone real dear to me. Although I was wrong, and she did contact me via email, it still hurt. An email is so impersonal for someone so close. So many people thought this was about them but sorry, it wasn't. Not trying to be passive aggressive or whatever but I just want to put any rumors or ASSumptions to rest about my post last year. Okay? Good. My friend doesn't even read my blog, lol. This wasn't just some everyday run of the mill person. She is so close to me, the word friend doesn't fit. She was there holding my hand as I pushed my daughter out. She was there going to bat for me when folks were spreading awful rumors. She was there for all of my previous pretty parties. But last year, she couldn't be there for me and it hurt.

But I was selfish. She needed me way more than I needed her. But this year was different and I knew it would be. I had been praying for her, not knowing when, but I knew she would be back. As much as I tried to deny it, my love for her was stronger than ever. The time, and distance only made it stronger. So I spent my birthday celebrating with my friend Jen and her new husband Shawn. They took the step into married bliss and I had a great time. I admit, I was feeling a little funny about not being with my family but they made up for it. It's nice to have friends that you can hang with like family!!! I also got to meet some of the girls I've spoken to or interacted with via forums and they were great as well. There is too much to tell but I have a new phrase, "I got what I came here for."

So imagine my surprise when I got home, I had a message from my friend, my girl, my sister. At first I was shocked and a little perplexed. Do I call? Do I wait? What do I say? Finally I just said forget it and picked up the phone. I got the voicemail but she called back. We talked, and we talked, and we talked. And she talked to Thomas, and they talked, and they talked. I got a lot of nice gifts this year, but hearing her voice and reconnecting with someone I love so much, is PRICELESS!!! My heart was smiling after we hung up. What we have, is something most people only dream of. It's not perfect but I thank God we are able to weather so many storms. Everything we've gone through has made our friendship stronger than we've ever imagined. I really think this was the best birthday ever!! Q

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Yes I am turning 30 again. *blink* Right now I am in VA for my friend's wedding that will be taking place today. This is my first b-day away from my family and I miss them. But I am looking forward to supporting my friend in her new journey towards wedded bliss. So I'll be celebrating her day, and cutting a rug for myself as well. Q

I got my eyebrows threaded!!!!

My girl Tee has been raving about this procedure for the longest. But I could never find anyone locally. Last week when I got my mani and pedi, the girl kept asking if I wanted my brows done too. I knew they were not looking their best but I was determined to do them on my own. Today I had to take the Supremes to get some sneakers. I noticed a little booth with a video playing involving the eyebrows.

On our way out, I stopped by the booth to get some info. I began to ask a bunch of questions. I told them I was scared and K said, "mom you should do it, I'll hold your hand!!" LOL So I went ahead and got it done. It was quick, almost painless and I am loving the results. For $10 plus a tip, it was well worth it. Here are some pics. Q

It's time for a change

That was the title of the last sermon I preached a few Sundays ago. There I was filled with the Holy Spirit preaching, and sweating. Everyone was pretty much on their feet because the word resonated with them. But that word was as much for me as it was for them. I knew this year would be different for me. Eight is the number of new beginnings and I was born on 08/08/08 and turned 30 this year. God has come down hard on me this year unlike any other. He has shaken up friendships I once had, allowed me to be under attack a lot more, and put me in situations where I couldn't defend myself. It is hard not being able to say something because God told me not to. So yeah I've had to look like a punk, sell out, and two faced. But I know it's because He loves me and He was pushing me towards the next level in my walk and I need to experience certain things. Those things have only made me stronger and made me to want to be closer to Him even more.

I can honestly say I have made way to many mistakes. Some of them, could have easily been avoided. I haven't always been the best witness for Christ either. I too got a little too caught up in things of the world. I guess I could make excuses, but I won't because excuses can't change the past. Instead I choose to change and to be better. Some people say this board can be addictive but this board only has the power you give it. I have learned that it is not certain things that hinder me, but it is me and the power I give to things.

As you all know, I am going on a break from a lot of the internet forums I participate in. Not because I think there is anything wrong with the actual forums. But I need to make some changes for [b]me.[/b] This is one of many small distractions right now I need to eliminate for the next couple of weeks so I can deal more with the man in the mirror. As long as I allowed certain things to be a distraction, I will never deal with the things I need to. So now I won't have any excuses.

It's time for a change. It's time for me to change. It is my prayer that when I return I will be a better Queeny on and off the board. I want to be a better wife, mother, friend, minister. I want to be rid of the bad habits I let hinder my spiritual growth like my anger, gossiping, and involving myself in wordly conversations, situations, and discussions. That doesn't mean I won't participate and enjoy the forums, it just means I will be wiser about the things I say, the things I post, and the discussions I join in. But most importantly, I must change because God changes not. If I want to be more like Him, I need to change because He won't change for me. He is the same God today, yesterday and forever more. I will miss you guys but I will be back and better than ever. You can follow me right here as I follow Him. Much love. Q

Back at One

This year has been filled with so many ups and downs. I have learned so much, good and bad about myself. I know that now more than ever, I need God in my life each and everyday. I am honest enough to say I have let too many things distract me and take me away from my first love. Over the past couple of weeks I have become more and more convicted about a lot things.

I know some people feel I share too much but I do it not for attention or for glory. I do it because I want others to learn from my mistakes and see the power of God at work in spite of how weak I am. I want them to see me and all my flaws and think, "if she can still serve God, then I can too. If she can still fall and get up, then I can to." Even if it makes you want to not be like me but to be a better Christian, it is worth it. This is why I do what I do. There is nothing anyone can say to me that I haven't said. No one can show me my faults because I know them already. You can't expose me because I've already been exposed to myself and I don't like the person I see so I can understand why others may not like things about her as well.

God began to move people out of my life showing me who I really am. I have not been the best witness I would have liked to have been. It's hard because a part of me wants to just be Q but another part recognizes I have been called to a higher standard. I know that not being perfect is no excuse because I know better. So the time has come for me to step up the plate and put up or shut up.

I already knew that 2008 was going to be a year of new beginnings for me and the time has finally come for me to take my rightful place and be one of the agents of change God has put me in this world to be. Last Sunday I did a sermon at my church titled "It's Time for A Change." It was my most powerful one to date. Little did I know it was a sermon designed not only for the members but for me. I know it won't be easy but failure is not an option for me. I HAVE TO DO THIS!!!

Very soon I will be slowly pulling away from my online activities and spending more time with my first love, the Lord. I won't be as active on the web until God tells me I am ready to be the Q He wants me to be on and off line. But, I wanted to share with you this book I got early on in my walk that really blessed me. I started reading it tonight and it's the first step of many I need to take towards being who I need to be. The name of the book is "What Matters Most" by Tony Edwards. It focuses on the Four Absolute Necessities In Following Christ which are worship, fellowship, Scripture, and evangelism.

I wanted to leave you with the last 2 paragraphs of the introduction:
"It is my prayer that by the time you complete this book you will have a functional handle on what it takes to be an authentic follower of Jesus Christ. I also pray that you will order your life around these four necessities that will take you where you want to go.

When you and I do this, our lives will take on a dimension of joy, power, peace, and victory we may have never known before, one that will be ours regardless of circumstances. This is so because we will have discovered what matters most."


I will be posting commentary and insight from my studies on this blog as often as possible. Be blessed. Q

Sometimes I rhyme slow, Sometimes I rhyme quick

Most days I am in constant motion. It seems like there aren't enough hours in the day. Between working out, taking care of the family and working, I am always going. My body gives me signs to slow down but I don't heed them. Eventually I become more agitated, resentful, stressed and downright evil. Everyone around me starts to notice a change and then I realize I have gone too far. I try to be there for everyone but I have neglected the person that needs me the most, ME.

I hate getting to that place because I don't like who I've become. So to avoid that, I make time just for me. I take at least one day per month where I don't get on the computer, don't talk on the phone, don't cook, clean, or do anything but just be. Sometimes I will run a bubble bath and play some music. Sometimes I will just go for a drive and listen to the wind. Other times I just sleep or just lay around thinking about nothing. I remove everything from my mind and just let my heart, soul, and mind be.

It is important to have that time to yourself. As a woman especially, we carry a lot on our shoulders. We try to be everything to everybody. But we can't do that on an empty tank. I know it is easier said than done but it is important to our survival. Even if you can't devote a full day just yet, take the time to slow down a little. Designate some of the things you do to other people. Take a few minutes to sit in peace either early in the morning or in the evening after the kids are in the bed. On your way to work, turn the radio off and just drive in the quiet and stillness of your car. Take an extra long shower and pamper yourself a little. The stuff will be there when you get back and you will be ready, refreshed, and better able to handle it all. Q

Just one of those days

If I had a theme song for my day, it would be "Wishful Thinking" by Vivian Green. Yup, just one those days, things don't go your way.....
It started off fine. I went into work to finish up some stuff. I headed home to enjoy the rest of my day and to chill before I went to get my 3rd microdermabrasion treatment. I decided to stop by Target and got some nacho cheese and a drink for lunch. I am driving home just listening to Neyo's new cd. I pull up in the drive way, turn around to grab my drink and realize it's not there. I look back and see it has fallen down and splashed all over the carpet and the seats. I grab a towel and thankfully most of it is on the mat so I take it out to wash it. I watch a little tv and went to lay down.

I ended up sleeping longer than I had plan and my foot was killing me at this time. I get up in enough time to say hi to the fam and then I head out. I get in my van and close the door and hear a thud. I look and see my driver's side window fell down into the door. I try to get it to go up and nothing. Thomas comes out and I tell him what happened and he tells me to take his car because he wanted to change my wipers anyway. I head out. I ended up getting a wax, micro, and a photo rejuvenation facial. I leave still feeling down about my van and thinking about what to do.

I get home and the van is gone. I am on the phone talking with my Pastor when Thomas walked in. I knew something was wrong. He said, "I've got bad news, are you mad?" I told him to go ahead and tell me. Well while trying to get my van in the garage, he scratched the passenger side door, dented it and broke the mirror!!! I wanted to cry so bad just the tears just wouldn't fall.

Times like this, all I can do is pray and thank God in spite of everything. I know a huge blessing must be on the way for me. Tomorrow is a new day. Q

My latest shopping spree

Yesterday I was on the forum just minding my business. All of a sudden a bunch of women threatened me and told me to click on this thread about nine west shoes being on sale. Then later, those same women barged into my home, put a gun to my head and made me order 7 pairs of shoes!!! I mean they are on sale for $30 each. I have a feeling those women may return tonight and make me order a few more. Jesus take the wheel!!!! Here are the ones I purchased so far. Q








Here is the link: sale

My Spa Day recap

On Wednesday I received my birthday gift from my husband. I had a spa day. I looked around, made some phone calls and finally settled on Casa Verde. I got the Bliss package which includes:Caribbean body wrap, steam room experience, therapeutic facial, and spa hand and foot treatment. Spa lunch included.

They told me to allow between 4- 4 1/2 hours. My appointment was at 1:15 and I arrived at 1:00 to fill out some paperwork. I was taken to the spa side which was nice and calming. I was surrounded by soothing music, beautiful plants and calming colors. The paperwork was very thorough asking a lot of info in order to custom tailor my treatments. One of the young ladies came and took my lunch order which would be a soup and salad. The young lady who would be performing the majority of my services "A" came and greeted me. She let me know that she was running a little bit behind. A few minutes later she came and got me.

I was taken to a room and was told to get completely undressed. There was a bag for me to place my clothing and then I was instructed to lie on the bed under the covers. A few minutes later she entered, asked me some questions, asked if I had any, explained the services I would be receiving and began. She started by asking me to sniff some different scents. I would later find out she would use the one I chose during the different services. She started with a neck and shoulder massage. The first treatment was the carribean body wrap. She dry brushed my skin and then applied this warm body mask all over my body and wrapped me up in covers, and blankets and I marinated for about 20-30 minutes. I was then instructed to the shower where the water was already running. There were 2 shower heads on opposite ends. A few minutes later the steam came on and I was in heaven.

After the shower, I put on the complimentary robe and shower shoes and headed back to the room. Honestly most of it was a blur because I fell asleep several times. I know I got a facial with a steam treatment, massaged about 50-11 times and had a great lunch. I had the minestrone soup and salad with italian dressing. "A" finished all of the main treatments and another young lady did my hand and foot treatments. That was when I realized I forgot to take pics. So I had her snap one of me still in the robe. I know I look like Sideshow Bob but "A" did a scalp massage as well and I really didn't care how my hair looked. Q