Hair update

Since my 12 week mission includes my hair, I decided to post a little update.

This first pic was taken in January and is my starting point. As you can see, my hair is about 8-8.5 inches on the shirt.


These 2 pics was taken last week. My hair is about 9-9.5 inches on the shirt. My goal for the next 12 weeks is to gain at least 3 or more inches. I plan on doing it by daily or every other day washing, scalp massages, and growth aids. I hope to get cornrow extenstions next week to make care for it easier. I will update monthly. Q

Until then, you only know what you think you know

"Until you know my joy, know my pain, and know my struggle...."
That quote and the title of this post is from a song titled "Until" by Raheem Devaughn. I remember the first time I heard that song. I was on my way home from work and was stuck in traffic. It moved me so much that I was in tears driving home. I can relate to it on so many levels.

A lot of the people who know me now, think I am blessed. They are right. Thomas is a wonderful husband, friend, and father. The girls are smart, beautiful, and absolute joys. We have a great house, great jobs, a wonderful church family and all the things one could ever ask for. But all of this came with a cost.

Thomas and I were raised by single mothers. We saw them work their behinds off and struggle. I grew up in one of the toughest places in New York. I saw and experienced things most people older than me could never imagine. But we made a conscious decision to move beyond that. We worked and struggled and fought so our kids can have a better life. So they won't go through the things we went through. To make sure history didn't repeat itself and to be a blessing to others.

When I hear songs like "Until" for a moment I am sad, have a good cry, and reflect on the past. Now I don't believe in dwelling in the past and having an eternal pity party. The past is the past. It's already happen. All the tears, all the screams, all the anger in the world won't change a darn thing that already happened. I could have either continued to feel sorry for myself and do nothing with my life, or dig myself out of the dirt, wash myself off and strive to and eventually do better. I chose the latter. I know I have succeeded when I look at my husband, when I see my kids, when I walk around cleaning up and picking up toys in this beautiful 2100 sf house. I know all the things in my past that was done to stifle me, to kill me, to destroy me, only made me more determined.

All of what I have came with a cost. Anything worth having does. Eternal salvation through Jesus cost Him His life. I said all of this to say, don't just look on the surface and make assumptions about a person's life. Don't be so quick to dismiss someone because it appears as if they have it all. You don't know what they've overcome. You don't know the struggles they've dealt with. You don't know about the nights they may have cried and wanted to give up but didn't. You don't know what it took, what it cost them to be where they are. Until you know what a person has been through, "you only know what you think you know." Q

April 13, 2008 to July 5, 2008

I am on a 12 week mission. At first I wasn't going to put it out there but doing so makes me accountable. For 12 weeks I am committed to making lasting changes in my life. There are a lot of things I have been putting off, and I've decided to stop making excuses and to start making things happen. July 5th, the end of the 12 weeks is 4 days before our 10 year anniversary.

Here are my goals for the next 12 weeks:
1) I plan on for the last time doing Body for Life in order to get to my goal size of 8.
2) I want to finish my training for a 5K and be registered to run one before the year is out.
3) I plan on taking the steps necessary to move forward with being ordained.
4) The family and I will take family pictures finally.
5) I want to finally make waist length with my hair.

There is more involved in those 4 things that are a little personal but just pray for me. I have so much going on but like my Pastor always says, "it's not going to get easier, I am going to have to get stronger." Q

A Change is in the air

The other morning I woke up and I immediately thought of a lot of the folks I come in contact with via the internet and in real life. I knew that a change was in the air. So many of you have a lot of hopes, dreams and aspirations. You've been waiting, planning, and praying. I just want you to know, it is on the way.

Anything worth having is worth working for. It won't be easy. You will have to work harder, pray harder, try harder, do more, sleep a little less, study a little more, cry a little but it is YOURS. Do all you can to make your dreams come true, to be who you want to be, and meet all of your goals. This is your year. Grab hold of your destiny, stay focused, and know that failure is not an option.

God is already opening doors for dh and I and we are about to do big things!!! I know He is no respector of persons so what He does for us, He will do for you too. The number 8 signifies change. My birthday happens to fall on 08/08/08 this year. I have already begun to take some major steps to making my dreams come true. It is going to be a long and hard road but it will be worth it. This year will be the turning point in my life and the life of so many people. The world and the people in it are starting to open their eyes and grab hold of what God has in store.

Change is in the air people. Embrace it, enjoy it, master it, use it to your advantage. I look forward to hearing great things!!!! Q

Phrases I hate

Today I was visiting the wedding registry page of a friend of mine. I began to look at some other pages and just got irked. *WARNING* I'm about to say some stuff that you may not agree with which is cool. Just understand these are MY thoughts and MY opinions, AIGHT!!!

Now I understand that I am reading way too much into things but I believe words have power. That is why I am careful about what I say. Actually I will elaborate more on my next post. So anyway here are some phrases that really bother me:

1. "I am nothing without him/her"- Oh really. So you mean you were just a blob sitting around until this person came along and molded you and made you. I don't think so. I was a wonderful person before I met dh and I am a wonderful person now. I am a child of the most high so not only am I something already, I am royalty.

2. "If I were to ever lose him/her, I think I would die"- Sigh. Well just die then because tomorrow is not promised to anyone. In the blink of an eye, someone you love can be gone and you will be left behind. You will still have a life to live. Don't get me wrong, I will be hurt if God forbid I lose Thomas but I still have 3 little people and a life of my own that I need to continue to give my all to.

3. "He/she completes me"- So were you a half person, 1/4 or 3/4 of a person before they came along. So if they leave does a part of you leave also. Will just walk around as part of a person until someone else comes along. When you die, will your obituary say "here lies part of so and so"?

There are a couple more like, "you are my world, my sun, my everything. I am who I am because you came into my life." Blah, blah, blah!!!! Seriously, I know I am being a little over the top but there are folks who believe this deep down inside. Their world revolves around someone, finding someone, trying to keep that someone, worrying about that someone when God should be the center. God is the only person who will never leave you or forsake you. He made you. He loves you unconditionally. For all of those who are thinking about getting married, start it off right by making sure God is the head. If you do that, you will be blessed. Q

Getting some stuff off my chest

Before I began, let me just say this is my blog. I am going to post MY opinions, and MY views on subjects. You don't have to like it, you don't have to agree, you don't have to read it. Please don't go there with me, I am not in the mood!!!


Yesterday I was cooking and watching Oprah. Salma Hayek was on and she was talking about her life. The subject switched to marriage and suddenly I added her to the list of dumb celebrities in my book. I am sick and tired of people simply saying marriage is a piece of paper. I am pissed when I hear them say they are more committed in their relationship than they are in a marriage. I am sick of hearing folks say they were married x amount of times before and it didn't work so they don't feel the need to anymore.

Marriage is not just a peice of paper.
Marriage is deeper than just being in a relationship.
Marriage is ordained by GOD.
There are blessings you receive from being married that you won't get while just shacking up.
There is favor that is place upon your life when you decide to get married.
Marriage is not a walk in the park.
It takes two people to make it work.
It takes dealing with the good and bad and knowing because of the legal and spiritual ramifications, you can't just walk away so easily like you can when you are just in a relationship.
Marriage is about two souls coming together as one.
A marriage is on a whole nother level (yeah I said it like that) than a regular relationship. There is no comparison, EVER!!!!

Please stop putting marriage on the level of just a piece of paper because it is more than that. Anyone can be in a relationship for 10 years but it takes more to stay married for that amount of time. If you were married before and it didn't work, then maybe it was just you. Maybe you picked the wrong person to marry. Maybe you gave up too easily. Maybe you didn't put enough into it. A marriage is what you make it. You can be married and have passion. You can be married and still be in love with your spouse. You can be married and do all the exciting things you did as a couple. You will get out of it, what you put into it. Just man up and woman up and say you are not ready for marriage. Leave the lame azz excuses for someone else because I am sick of hearing it!!! Q

Road tripping

I remember being a little girl living in New York. My family would load up the station wagon and head to South Carolina every summer. After awhile, I knew the stops and sites and knew when we were getting closer to our destination. Once we got older, the trips stopped and we took the plane instead.

In 1997 a friend named Fabien asked if I wanted to ride with him and a friend of his to New York. Fabien was from New Jersey and his friend was going home with him for Christmas. At the time we were all stationed at Robins Air Force Base in Georgia. I went along because I wanted to see my family and because Fabien and I were cool. Surprisingly, his friend was really cool too. We talked the entire drive there and back and really got to know each other. That trip changed my life and we are still close to this day.

When Thomas and I first got married, we would take the plane everywhere. I loved and hated it. It was great to get to places quickly but we had an unfortunate incident with being delayed when Bria was just a baby. We stuck it out a few years later when Destiny was born. Then one day we decided to go visit my mom 3 hours away in South Carolina and drove. It was on from there.

Most people assume we drive because it is cheaper. Although that plays a small part in it, that isn't the real reason. Thomas and I are extremely blessed. We have the means to fly anywhere at anytime. But for us, the road trips was a time for us to bond as a family. When the kids are sleep and it is just us and the road, we get to talk and just be. You can't do that on a plane because there are too many other people and distractions.

I remember one of my recent trips with my friend Veronica. We went to a concert in Arizona, about 7 hours away. Although the show was great, it was the time we spent talking and sharing during that drive that really shaped our friendship. Those hours allowed us to be open and honest and our friendship grew because of it.

Now that the kids are older, we have decided to cut back on the road trips. This year will probably be the last year of us being on the road like we usually do. From now on we are going to fly and just rent a vehicle at our destination. This year will also mark the first time Thomas and I will celebrate our anniversary away from the kids. Just like when I was younger, I hope my kids have fond memories of visiting the various states we've seen road tripping.

Oh and that friend I got to know in 1997 is still with me. His name is Thomas!!! Q

Congratulations Technical Sergeant Meyers

Today we celebrated Thomas being promoted to the rank of E-6. I am so proud of him!!!\

Here he is with the girls.


This is Thomas and Kim. Kim is a wonderful friend of the family and she helped me pin him on. Q

Dreams

I remember hearing when I was younger, "dreams are visions of reality." Well after last night's dream I believe that to be true. I was driving to the airport and got out. I was dressed looking cute yet comfortable. As I was walking toward my gate, I spoted 3 guys I knew from high school. Back then they hung out together and here they were. One in particular was my first love. His eyes got big and he smiled and said hello. He had that look as if to say, "she still looks good." I went up to him and said "congratulations." He said "thank you" and went on his way.

I got to my gate and my flight was delayed. I decided to walk around the airport. I spotted some more people I went to school with. Then as I was walking back to my gate, someone called out my name. I turned to see another ex of mine. He had a big smile and we met each other with a big hug. He chatted briefly about what was going on in our lives and then I boarded my plane.

In reality, my first love is engaged to get married. When I found out, I was very happy. I was friends with the girl he is marrying and I want nothing but the best for them. She and I recently reconnected via facebook. The second ex of mine we were always great friends. So much so that we broke up because we realized we were better off as friends rather than trying to date. We kept in contact even after high school. He attended a well known school for football and played in the NFL for awhile. I heard he had gotten married and in the dream he was excited about the prospect of his wife giving birth to their first child.

I woke up this morning happy. Happy to know 2 people who have a special place in my life are happy. I am blessed beyond belief and I want the same for them. I know some people would scratch their heads as to why I would dream about two men from previous relationships. But to me it is testimony to how mature I am and how far God has brought me. I have no ill will or lingering feelings for either of them. I appreciate them and the role they played in my life back in high school. I am happy to see how they have matured into wonderful, successful, black men. So today because of my dream, I said prayer for them and their families. I prayed for their marriages, their children, their spouses, and for God to continue to bless them. I do look forward to seeing them again one day and greeting them with a smile just like I did in my dream. Q

Daily devotion day 2

Scripture Reading: Job 28:12-22
Key Verse: Job 28:12 "But where can wisdom be found? And where is the place of understanding?

We all seek and search for wisdom. The true wisdom is that only God can give. In our search for truth and wisdom, let us seek the Lord all the more. He knows all and sees all. Be wise enough to in trust the Lord. Q

Reading On:
Proverbs 1:7
Proverbs 9:10
James 1:5,6
Proverbs 8:18-21

Knowledge is horizontal.
Wisdom is vertical
it comes down from above. Billy Graham

Daily devotional reading

I decided to dust off one of my books and use it to help me get all the more closer to the Lord. The name of the book is, "15 Minutes of Peace With God" by Emilie Barnes. I've read it several times in the past but decided to start again.

Scripture Reading: Matthew 9:35-38
Key Verse: Matthew 9:36 But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd.

Jesus loves and cares for us all. He has compassion for us and understands the trials and tribulations we face. He came so that we may live. He died so we may live. Let us also be mindful of others and have compassion for them. Instead of looking down on people, let us lift them up. Instead of tearing each other down, let us encourage one another. Speak words of love. Show acts of love. Love others with the love of Christ.

Father God I ask that you bless my heart and mind Lord. Create in me a new heart and renew a right spirit within me. Let me not judge, degrade, or belittle my brothers and sisters. Give me a kind word to speak to them. Give me a spirit of compassion to go out show love to a dying world. In your name I pray. Amen Q

"Should we feel at times disheartened and discouraged, a simple movement of heart toward God will renew our power. Whatever He demands of us, He will give us at the moment the strength and the courage that we need." - Francois de La Mothe-Fenelon

I love my life

Yesterday, I made the decision that today we would do something as a family. After seeing the cast on Oprah and watching the previews, I picked up some tickets for Horton Hears a Who. I decided to get them for the 7:15 showing. I loved seeing the smiles and hearing the cheers from my girls when I told them what we were doing. They were so giddy as we drove up to the theater. The giggled and squirmed in their seats while watching the previews for the other kiddie movies that will be coming out. Finally, when the movie started, they had the biggest grins. I sat and watched as their eyes got big, the giggled, twisted and clapped. Kaliyah was sitting next to me and she leaned over, gave me a kiss, and told me she loved me.

I found myself getting into the movie even sitting up a couple of times. It was nice to see so many other families there enjoying the show. The movie was a little over an hour long but I know next time to not sit next to Kaliyah. She gets antsy when she has to sit for an extended period.

As we left the theater, I watched the girls run to the van still giddy and excited while talking about the movie. When we got home, they thanked me, told me I was the best mom and got ready for the tub. Even now while they are still in the tub, they are laughing and talking about the movie and characters.

I may not have a lot of money, designer clothes, or a fancy job but I love my life. I love my husband who sat through the movie and stayed awake. I love my kids and seeing how happy they were. I love knowing I have 4 people in my life who love me no matter what. It is easy to forget how blessed I am with all the things we have going on. But today reminded me of how great my life is. I honestly can't complain. Q

Farewell to The Wire

Farewell to The Wire
Current mood: awake

Last night I watched the series finale of The Wire. It is one of the best shows I have ever seen. It touched me in ways no other show ever has or probably ever will. After Season 3, I wondered how they would be able to carry on. The main characters were dead or in jail and I figured it was all over. But they surprised me yet again in Season 4. The new breed of characters especially the young boys touched my heart and soul.

I have been very emotional this past week leading up to the finale. The show brought up so many memories and emotions. Things from my past came to the surface and I was forced to deal with some realities. First I realized how blessed I am to have made it out of the projects in NYC. The characters on the show are people I knew, people I grew up with except their names were different and the setting was Brooklyn instead of Baltimore.

Second, I feel an overwhelming since of sadness and guilt. Although I was able to make it out, there are others who didn't. They are still there, stuck in the mess, or they ended up dead or on drugs. So while most people can just go on with their lives, people are living The Wire everyday. What was it about me that allowed me to escape? Why was I able to climb out of the ashes and not be a lifelong victim? I mourn for all those who are stuck and have no hope. For those who don't know they too can have a better life.

Lastly, I am encouraged, hopeful and determined. I know that it is up to me to help make a difference. I know I can't save everyone but I will do my darndest to be a blessing to someone else. It is my mission to get out of my nice, comfy, safe world and step out on faith and do what God has called me to do. I vow to do all I can to help this generation be better, do better, live better. I won't stand my the side, shake my head and say "that's not my problem." Instead of talking about it, I plan on being about it.

Thank you to all the writers, producers, directors, actors, and everyone who worked on The Wire. Thank you for bringing such a wonderful show to HBO and touching my soul in a special way. RIP The Wire. Q

Tee and I

This is Tee grooving to "Hate On Me"


These pictures don't do her any justice. She is even more beautiful in person.


This is us tired but still looking fly after the concert. I am convinced the camera really does add 10 pounds. I am happy because Tee is like a size 8 and I can see how much smaller I am. Q

Jill Scott pics

Raheem Devaughn singing "YOU"



Jill and Band stepping off the stage to "And I heard"


Jill Greeting some of the fans.


Jill clapping and grooving.


I will give a recap later. Q

Some Tee day food pics

I was too busy laughing and eating and forgot to take pics but thankfully Tee remembered.



Here is what was left of the red velvet cake Tee and I made. She doesn't like pecans so I left them off. I have made this cake about a thousand times but I think this is the best it has ever tasted. Probably because Tee helped and I didn't have to stop and add the ingredients.


Right now, the kids are in the playroom with their grandma. Thomas, some friends, and grandpa is in the living room with the playstation. Tee and I are in my bed, under the covers, watching t.v. and acting like school girls. Today was WONDERFUL!!! Tomorrow, we go see Jill Scott and Raheem Devaughn!!! Q

It's TEE day!!!!

What is Tee day you ask? I was blessed to meet a beautiful, wonderful, sweet and kind woman by the name of Letitia via the internet. She and I had spoken over the phone and just clicked. A few weeks ago, I found out Jill Scott was coming to AZ and told her about it and she said she would come here and go with me. How cool is that?

She lives in TN and she is flying in today. Because of that, I dubbed today Tee day!!! I have some friends from church coming over, along with my in-laws who are visiting and I will be throwing down in the kitchen.

Here is what's on the menu:
BBQ ribs with my homemade BBQ sauce
Fried Chicken
Homemade mashed potatoes
Brown rice
Cabbage
Macaroni and cheese
Salad
Rolls
Red Velvet Cake
I will post pics later. Q

Happy Valentine's Day

Last night I stayed up while my family slept. I made out 4 cards with gifts inside of them. Then I placed an addition gift beside the cards. Three cards went into my kids' bedroom on their dresser with their names on them. The other was in Thomas' man room. I smiled because I really put a lot of thought into what I wrote in each card. I wanted them to know how I felt and how much I love each of them.

As I lie in bed I began to think about my first and true love and came up with this letter to him:

Dear Jesus,
Tomorrow everyone will be busy eating chocolate, smelling flowers and, reading cards. They will smile and feel happy that someone thought enough about them to give them something. Most will not even think about you even though it is your day. Valentine's day is a day of love and I know GOD is love.

So Lord, I just want you to know that I haven't forgotten about you. I love you more than anything in this world. I love you more than my husband, more than my kids, more than I love my life. Without You and your love that blesses me everyday whether I deserve it or not, I am nothing.

I thank you for being my first and true love. You love me more than anyone ever could. You loved me before my mother or father knew I even existed. I know there is nothing in this world I can give, or anything I can say to tell how much I love you. Instead I will do it with my actions. I will ALWAYS put you first. I will ALWAYS follow you. I will ALWAYS tell people about you. I will ALWAYS be yours. I love you and I look forward to spending eternity with you.

Thank you for my life, my family, my friends and all the many blessings I have because of you. I am everything I am and all I want to be because YOU love me!!! Q

Story #2

MONTH-OLD-BABY AND 12-YEAR-OLD MOTHER IN FOSTER CARE

Atlanta-Fulton County District Attorney Paul Howard announces the conviction of a 36-year-old defendant who admits to raping and impregnating a then 11-year-old girl. Trianthony Timothy Cannon pleaded guilty to two counts of rape, one count of aggravated stalking of a child, one count of aggravated child molestation, two counts of child molestation, one count of aggravated assault and one count of obstruction of a law enforcement officer. In addition, Cannon pleaded guilty to two counts of child molestation related to the girl's 10-year-old brother. Assistant District Attorney Lee Young-Williams, who prosecuted the case, says there was evidence Cannon made the boy watch him rape and assault the child's sister and expose himself. There was also evidence, Young-Williams says, Cannon taught the boy to masturbate.

Cannon lived with Julia Johnson, the children's mother, who secured his release from jail after he was first arrested on charges of molesting her daughter. He moved back in with the family and began raping the little girl again. The DA's office asked for the maximum sentence of 181 years in prison. Judge Constance Russell imposed a life sentence plus 80 years.

Last month, the 12-year-old victim gave birth to a boy who is awaiting adoption. The little girl is also in the custody of the Department of Family and Children's Services. 39-year-old Julia Johnson has been indicted on charges of cruelty to children in the first degree, contributing to the deprivation of a minor and being party to a crime of rape. She is in custody awaiting a trial date.
District Attorney Howard says "this is the most egregious case of child sex abuse I've ever seen. Mr. Cannon deserves every minute of the sentence Judge Russell imposed."

This case was prosecuted under the DA's Crimes against Women and Children division headed by Deputy District Attorney Deborah Espy. Fulton County Investigator Calvin Thomas was the lead investigator on the case.


No words can describe how I feel about these 2 situations. Q

We must protect our children

Someone posted these two stories below and they brought me to tears. As a mother, I was mad as heck. As a human being, I was disgusted. People, WAKE UP. WE must protect our children at any cost. Not just your own but all children. Just because a woman gives birth, doesn't make her a good mother. A real mother would be careful of who she brings around her child. A real mother would cut a mofo who ever harms a hair on her child. A real mother protects her child at all costs. WARNING!!! These 2 stories will make you want to cuss. Q

The baby’s birth at University Hospital on Nov. 4 was routine.

What wasn’t routine was the fact the infant’s mother was just 10, impregnated by her mother’s boyfriend.

Now, social workers are trying to figure out how to unravel the mess involving one of the youngest children ever to give birth in Greater Cincinnati.



Prosecutors were in court Wednesday to discuss what to do with both children, the newborn and her now 11-year-old mom.

The court session in Hamilton County Dependency Court on Wednesday was primarily a status session on how both the baby and young mother are doing.
At the same time Wednesday, Lockland police were in Columbus talking to a convict whose DNA shows he’s the baby girl’s father.

Michael Chaffer, 40, is accused of impregnating his girlfriend’s 10-year-old daughter, according to Hamilton County prosecutors.

The baby’s birth set off an investigation by the Hamilton County Department of Job and Family Services and stunned social workers because the baby’s mother is so young.

The baby has been taken from her mother and put in a foster home while the child-mother is now being taken care of by a relative. Her mother is not allowed to see the baby and can only see her daughter when supervised by social workers.
Lawyers jammed the courtroom Wednesday, representing the prosecutor’s office and all three generations of the family.

The girl’s mother was warned not to let any adult men in her Lockland home while caseworkers tried to track down the infant’s father.

Paternity was not determined until Wednesday morning.

Prosecutors say the girl’s mother ignored that order to keep adult men away from her child, and when a caseworker made a surprise visit to her Lockland home Jan. 4, they found Chaffer.

Assistant Hamilton County Prosecutor Lee Slocum said Chaffer faces criminal charges for impregnating and sexually molesting a girl under the age of 13.
Lockland Police Chief James Toles said two officers were interviewing Chaffer on Wednesday in a Columbus prison, where he is serving a one-year sentence on an unrelated charge.

Sex with a child under 13 is considered statutory rape, a crime punishable with a life prison term.

As JFS investigated the case, several relatives of the 11-year-old girl contacted the agency saying Chaffer sexually abused the girl for a “period of time.”

The 11-year-old girl’s mother is also under investigation, Slocum said, for allowing her daughter to be abused.

Job and Family Services workers can’t remember a case in which a girl so young gave birth.

“Unfortunately, sexual abuse is pretty common in the cases we see,” said JFS Director Moira Weir. “But it is highly unusual and extremely sad to see a case where a 10-year-old becomes pregnant.

“This is an example of why everyone in the community needs to be extremely vigilant about watching for the signs of abuse and notifying us through our 241-KIDS hotline,” she added. “The sooner we can intervene, the sooner we can make sure the child is in a safe situation.”

Hamilton County prosecutors want a court designation that the 11-year-old girl was abused. They allege the 11-year-old’s mother failed to care for her by allowing Chaffer near her.

Prosecutors also want to take the infant away from the mother because the sixth-grade student is too young to care for the baby.

As she waited for the hearing to start, the child, who was wearing faded jeans and a T-shirt hoody with her hair tied into a ponytail, sat next to her mother. She chatted about school, music and Disney video games.

During the hearing, as prosecutors and attorneys discussed the case and the possibility that the 11-year-old could lose her baby, she wiped away tears with the palms of her hands.

At Wednesday’s hearing, Magistrate Charles Milazzo determined the girl could visit her baby at least twice a week.

But he said the 11-year-old girl’s mother may see her only if social workers can supervise the visits, and that she may not see the baby.

Authorities became aware of the birth after the 11-year-old girl delivered the baby at University Hospital. Hospital officials notified JFS because the mother was so young.

The 11-year-old girl and the infant were allowed to remain in the mother’s home while JFS investigated the case. Two other men were eliminated as the baby’s father before Chaffer’s DNA was tested.

When the caseworker found Chaffer in the home Jan. 4 – a violation of JFS’ order that no men be in the home – they arrested him on a charge of obstruction of official business.

Court records show Chaffer slammed the door on the officer and refused to open it.
Chaffer pleaded guilty to that charge the next day, which violated his probation on an earlier drug charge. As a result he was sent to prison for one year.

JFS immediately took the 11-year-old girl and infant from the home.