Let em eat cake

My baby kept bugging me about helping her with the refridgerator. I ignored her because I thought she was being silly. About 10 minutes ago she said, "mom you never went to the refridgerater." Then she said, "oops, nevermind" and ran off. I asked, "what's in the fridge?" She just smiled. Then I looked at the other 2 who giggled. Then I looked at Thomas and he just grinned. So I ran to the fridge, opened the door and found this beautiful cake in the shape of a bible along with a homemade card and another gift from Thomas. I cut into just to see what flavor it was but I won't have any until my party tomorrow. He took the time to order it and got it from my favorite bakery. I am grinning ear to ear!!! Q

Birthday smiles

The song "Emotional Roller Coaster" by Vivian Green would describe my day today. I was on the phone with my girl April at around 12 and she was the first to wish me a Happy Birthday. I stayed online and blogged with tears in my eyes. I woke up to my wonderful gift and phone calls from my dad, my mom, and my favorite cousin Ro. My kids gave me lots of hugs, kisses, and homemade gifts and my husband didn't let me move a finger.

I logged onto on of my favorite message boards to find a post with an outpouring of love and well wishes. My email, myspace page, and personal message box was flooded with words of love. But I was a little sad because some names were missing. I tried to go about my day and do my usual like surf the net, read and respond to blogs but I still felt bad. Finally I blogged about it but I still didn't get a release. Then I read a post on another blog about being passive agressive. It was the wake up call I needed. My pity party was over. Yeah I am entitled to one and I had a short one today.

But it is times like this that God uses as an opportunity to bless me and give me some insight. You see this once again reassured me that I have been right to not let my happiness be tied up in people. Sure it is good to love people, to have them in your life, and to enjoy their company but always remember folks are human. They have flaws, they will forget, they are not perfect, but God is. God will never leave me or forsake me. God will never forget what means most to me. God always lets me know I am loved. So no matter what, I know I am loved. Even if no one else loves me, I love myself and most importantly, God loves me!!! Thanks for the kick in the pants too M, wink. Yup and I am back to my old self again. Q

Thanks Gin

My girl Gin posted this in a thread for me and I thought it was so funny, that I had to put it here. I have some of the best friends in the world!!! Q

Bwhahahaha

So I spoke to my mom early this morning. I asked if she had seen my new hair pic I posted and she said yeah. My sister showed it to her. She said my sis and my cousin was on myspace looking at my pics. She called my mom over and told her to come look at my hair. Then my sister said, "she's just showing off." My mom and cousin busted out laughing. I love you too Imani!!!! Q

Birthday revelation

I know the day is not over with but I've had an awakening moment today. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I have another chance to do things different and to make sure my 30's is better than my 20's.

This day is very special to me and unfortunately those who I thought loved and cared about me, have forgotten. I would be lying if I said I was not hurt. Especially because I always go out of my way to say happy birthday to those I love. It could be a card, an email or a phone call but I always do it even when some of them have never acknowledged my day. I am shocked because people I have known less than a year have called, im'd or emailed but those I consider like family have yet to say a word. To those of you who have forgotten I forgive you, I really do. I plan on enjoying my day and having a fabulous party tomorrow with my friends and family. From here on out, I will focus my time and energy on the people who care enough to take the time to show me how much I mean to them. I will still love them, I will still pray for them, and I will still acknowledge them but they won't have the priority in my life they once had. It's all good. At least now I know where I stand.

I've decided to also get more focused on the things I want for myself and my family. I want to focus more on God and really make some changes in my life. I am still focused on being healthy and getting to a healthy size. I want to be a living testimony of God's word. I want to stop gossiping and make sure my communication is uplifting, positive and encouraging. I want to be a better wife, mother, friend, minster. I want to give more, laugh more and love more. I want to only have people in my life who truly love and support me and will be beneficial to me going higher. I feel like my life is starting over and I have another chance to really stand up and make a difference. Watch out, the best is yet to come!!! Q

Oh and if you are reading this, you are probably not who I am speaking of. Q

What a wonderful surprise!!!

Last week I entered a contest in order to win a copy of the coveted Vogue Italia issue featuring Black models. Upon my return from Vegas, I received an email stating I had won and it was being shipped. I went to bed late last night and was awakened by the sound of the doorbell. Thomas was out so I got the crust out my eyes, looked through the peephole and saw the mailman. I thought it was a gift from a family, friend or one of the girls from the forum. To my surprise it was my issue of Vogue!!! It came just in time for my birthday and it was a great way to start my day!!! Thank you Style Chile for being so generous. Much love. Q

Goodbye to my Twenties

Well it's official I am no longer in my twenties. It is a bitter sweet moment for me. Up until recently, I was really excited about the thought of turning 30. It is one of those milestones that really make you feel "grown" you know? But as it approached I felt a little sad just realizing how much time has passed me by. There are some things I did not accomplish and other things I am proud of.

Nevertheless, I am grateful to God for allowing me to see this year. I know it was not promised to me but I am here. As I sit here with tears streaming down my face, I can honestly say I am proud of the woman I have become. Yes I made some mistakes but I've learned from them as well. I am older and wiser. I have so many things to be thankful for. My life is just beginning!!!

Thank you to all of my friends and family. I love each and every one of you. Thank you to everyone who reads my blog. Thank you to all of my haters and I wish you well. Once again thank you to My Lord and Savior Jesus for loving me and saving me. I am looking forward to what God has in store for me. I know this is the start of greater blessings, a greater anointing, and even more wisdom. Happy Birthday to me!!! Q

Vegas baby

Let me just say Thomas and I had a great time. I rode the roller coaster at NY, NY. We had dinner at the Bellagio and at Gallagher's and we took pics and just enjoyed being alone without the kids. We didn't get to do all we wanted to do like get married at a chapel but we still had a lot of fun. We even spent time with some friends. Oh and Thomas went shopping before I did, hmpfh. Here are some pics of us at the Bellagio, at the Vegas sign and the wonderful dinner we had at Gallagher's. Now let me say the food may be a little pricey for your everyday eating out but it was worth every dime!!! I had the Caesar salad, salmon with asparagus, and Thomas and I shared the 4 cheese macaroni and cheese. He had the New England clam chowder, pork chops, and we shared the creme brulee. On the drive back home we stopped by the Hoover Dam and took some pics there as well. Enjoy!!! Q

I got my hair did again

I got my 6 month flat iron, trim and curl today. When I got my eyebrows done, the girl tried to do a weave check on the slick, lol. Anyway, I will take more later when the curls fall some. Q

Just fine

So I was a little down today. I realized I didn't reach my workout goal. I admit it was frustrating because I had been doing all the right things and didn't get the results I wanted. But then I looked at the bright side. Even though I am not the size I want, I am still cute. I am getting my hair did tomorrow and it is growing nicely. My stomach is flatter and I am looking more toned. I feel a lot better physically. I don't get tired as much. I am spending more time with my hubby and kids. I am just fine.

Yup I am going to go to Vegas and take pictures proudly. I am going to dress cute like always and have a good darn time. I plan on having a fabulous party to celebrate turning 30 in a few days and I know I am blessed. I am well on my way and there are great things in store for me. So in spite of the fact that I won't be able to wear my favorite jeans YET, I am just fine thank you. Q

Happy Anniversary to us!!!!

I got up early this morning ready to put a bunch of posts on here only to find out there is a problem with our internet connection. Someone will be out here tomorrow so right now I am at the library because I had to put this on here.

Today, Thomas and I celebrated 10 years of marriage. I can honestly say that I love him more today than I did 10 years ago. I am still very much in love with him and I can still see myself spending the rest of my life with him. We had a great day together while the girls were at school and I am looking forward to spending the rest of the evening just lounging and realizing how blessed I am. It is my prayer that everyone gets to experience the love I share with him. Anything less is just not worth it. Q

Self Esteem Assignment #3

I want to talk to your friends and ask them what drew them to you. What was the one thing that made them decide to continue to move forward with the friendship after first meeting. You will be surprised to know what your friends like about you. Q

First day of school pics

Kaliyah started Kindergarten and Destiny started 2nd grade today. Here are some pics. Q

Misunderstood

Not too long ago I sent an email to someone. I hadn't seen or spoken to them in awhile and wanted to make sure everything was cool. I was expecting them to either give me the brush off or to simply say, naw we are cool. Unfortunately neither happened. It seemed as though only part of what I wrote was read and even that was taken a little out of context. It bothered me and I sent subsequent emails trying to better explain myself but in the end I probably made it worse. Such is life.

I hate being misunderstood I really do. I think it happens a lot more because most people don't communicate face to face anymore. Not with emails, text messages, and instant messages. Because of that, it is hard to really understand the intent of a person. But this situation has taught me a lot of things about myself and other people. From now on if I have to talk about something of a serious, emotional, or personal nature, I will either do it on the phone or face to face or I won't discuss it at all. The bible says to not let your good deeds be ill spoken of and that is one way I will avoid having that happen.

I sent the person a link to my blog as well. If she happens to read it, I hope she understands my intention was to really make sure we was on the same page. I just didn't know if time or distance would make communicating awkward and that is why I wrote what I did. I know I probably read too much into stuff and let my imagination get the best of me and I am big enough to admit that. I never wanted to put her or myself in a position that made either of us uncomfortable and that is why I wrote. But now that I know we are cool, I am cool.

To my readers, if you have been misunderstood, try your best to make sure the other person understands where you are coming from. If you are not able to, move on and just take it as a lesson learned. Understand that perception is reality for some people and no matter what, others may not see things your way. Just try to be the best person you can be and others will understand you and love you for who you are. Q

Technical difficulties

Because of my situation at home, my internet connection sucks big time. So I will have the next posting up tomorrow from work. I will be surprised if this one goes through. Q

Self Esteem Assignment #2

For this week, I want you to do something you don't usually do to make yourself feel good. You can get a massage, a manicure, pedicure or you can do those yourself. You can go out to eat at a nice restaurant alone or have a nice bubble bath. Sometimes I will just put on some feel good music and just sing loud and off key and dance my behind off. I want you to treat yourself because you deserve it. Do something that will make you smile. Q

Self esteem assignment #1

So I was chosen to be a mentor by a few ladies on a board I am a member of. I was so blessed and honored that they chose me. One of the things we are working on is self esteem. I must admit I wasn't always confident about myself. But over time, I've really learned to love myself. The first assignment for last week was for them to make a list of all the positive things in their life. Not a list of the things they liked about themselves but positive things. For instance, I have a wonderful husband, I have 3 great kids, I have a great job etc.

Once a person does that, they will be amazed at how many good things they have going on in their lives. I also told them that whenever they felt down, to pull out the list and say it out loud and to actually visualize the things listed. I've already received reports of how it helped them and I am so happy. Now it's your turn. Make a list of all the positive things in your life and look at it whenever you feel negative thoughts or emotions rising. Take care Q

What about your friends (Part 2)

There is a saying that goes, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." But I feel nothing is worse than when your friend becomes your enemy. See with a person who has always been your enemy you always know where they are coming from. You know they don't mean you any harm anyway so you don't trust them as far as you can throw them. But a friend who becomes your enemy is bad. They are someone whom you've trusted, confided in, and cared for. They know the good, the bad, and the ugly about you and they can now use it against you.

I have issues with folks who are no longer friends. Well I have issues with the way things are handled when they are no longer friends. I was talking to someone a few years ago who had just had a falling out with a friend. They were telling me all of this person' business and just straight blasting them. I thought, "if they are saying that about her, I can imagine what they say about me." Now I know they were probably upset but it doesn't excuse their actions. If they were a true friend NOTHING would make them say what they said to me, NOTHING.

I know you are probably saying that is easier said than done. Well let me tell you a story. I knew someone I considered a friend while in college. We went out one night and had a blast. Some mess went down and we made a vow not to say a word. Well folks started speculating and she cracked like Humpty Dumpty. She only told the stuff that involved me and made me look bad. I was hurt, I was crushed, and it was hard to defend myself because I would have to go against my word. So no matter how hard it was, no matter how hurt I was, I didn't do it. I took the all of it on myself. That incident pushed me over the edge. I was darn near suicidal but I never said a word.

I learned so much from that incident. I know what it's like to be a true friend. I also know the hurt and pain you feel when a friend betrays you. It is because of that incident and others that I understand what friendship really is. I am still like that to this day. Whatever is told to me in confidence is kept in confidence. There is nothing you can say or do that will make me take what my friend has told me (as long as it's nothing illegal) and use it against them. I would never tell their secrets. I would never use their insecurities and hurl it back at them. I would never get so enraged that I would treat them like they were always my enemy. I would never cuss them out.

If you were my friend you won't have to worry about adding me to your enemy list. I don't get down like that. We may no longer be friends but I won't risk doing or saying something that would make it impossible for us to be friends in the future. If I have ever called you my friend then I meant it. The ending of the friendship doesn't change the fact that we were once friends. Call me stupid, call me a punk, call me whatever, but you won't be able to say I wasn't a friend. Q

Taking it back to the old school

This is the first pic Thomas and I took as a couple. It was taken at our squadron's Christmas party in 1997. Don't we look great?!!! Q

What about your friends? Part 1

I've had this post on my mind for a minute now. I've learned a lot about friends and frienships over the years. I know what it takes to be a good friend, how to be one and how to rid yourself of those who aren't truly your friend. I've been thinking about this a lot lately because so many things have been going on in my life. I've seen and heard somethings that really made me say hmmm. Especially now that I am reconnecting with some friends from my past. Anyway some who I love sent me this email the other day and it talked about friends. It made me think long and hard so I wanted to share it with you. I will post more about friends in part 2 of this. Q

The Company You Keep

It is better to be alone than in the wrong company. Tell me who your
best friends are, and I will tell you who you are. If you run with
wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles,
you will learn how to soar to great heights. A mirror reflects a mans
face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he
chooses. The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those
with whom you closely associate for the good and the bad. The less you
associate with some people, the more your life will improve.

Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your
mediocrity.An important attribute in successful people is their
impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you
grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want
you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that
don't help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch
your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you will
eventually decrease you.

Consider This:
Never receive counsel from unproductive people.Never discuss your
problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because
those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not
everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the
worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.
Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere. With some people you spend
an evening: with others you invest it.Be careful where you stop to
inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who
fortifies his life with the right friendships.

Happy moments, Praise God
Difficult moments, Seek God
Quiet moments, Worship God
Painful moments, Trust God
Every moment, Thank God

If you see people without a smile today, give them one of yours.
Choose to rise...Don't settle...and go for your dreams!!!
And most of all let God lead you in everything you do.

"Do not ask God to order your footsteps, if you are not willing to move
your feet."

"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he
will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties."
Sir Francis Bacon

No more fros for me

On Father's Day I decided to rock my fro. I washed my hair while it was in braids and took my time combing each one out while applying some Miss Jessie's. My hair was big and beautiful. So off I went to put my little scarf on and it just flopped. Like Reggie Miller against the Knicks, it flopped. I was hurt and crushed. So I played around, messed with my hair and scarf and rocked a puff instead. I guess I should be happy that my hair is so long that I can't rock it the way I want but I was still sad. I can still wear one when I do a wash and go, I just can't fluff it out. Anyway, here is how I wore it on Sunday. Q

Congratulations to the Celtics

Yes I am a Knicks fan at heart but I have so much respect for Kevin Garnett and Doc Rivers. I was in tears right along with them. They deserve it. Congrats to the Celtics, the city of Boston and their fans!!!! Q

New hair products and a review

One of the wonderful members from a board I am apart of sent me a private message one day. She was also my secret Santa this past Christmas and she gave me some wonderful gifts. Anyway she told me that she just recently created some hair products and wanted me to try them on the girls' hair. I said sure and I felt so honored. First let me say how shocked I was because she sent me full sized bottles of almost her entire line.

First the name of the line is Jasmine's Bath and Beauty Products. I received 5 products total. They were the shampoo, moisturizing conditioner, detangling leave in spray, the cream rinse and the coconut conditioning masque. I used everything except for the masque on the girls. Why? Because I am saving that for me and what. So anyway here is the info.

Shampoo- First a little goes a long way. It lathers extremely well. What I loved about it is the way it made their hair feel. It felt clean but not stripped. It was conditioned but it wasn't sticky. I can't explain it because no shampoo has ever done that. Their hair was soft just from using it.

Super moisturizing conditioner- It was creamy but not to thick. It did not leave the hair heavy and coated and rinsed out well.

Cream Rinse- it was thicker than the conditioner- I put it on the girls' hair and did the steam treatment. This is really a keeper for Destiny because her hair gets super dry but after rinsing, it was soft and moisturized.

Detangling Leave In Spray- I don't even want to tell yall about this because I know it is going to be out of stock soon. When I first saw it in the bottle, I was shocked because it is thick and it is in a spray bottle. That tells me that she didn't just put a lot of water and crap in it but quality ingredients. Seriously it doesn't just wet the hair, it coats it. It doesn't leave it heavy but silky so when you comb or brush, it just glides. When it first goes on, it feels a little greasy but as you work it in it is not greasy at all. Can I say I love this stuff?!!!! Yup it is right up there with my beloved Pantene hair mask. Seriously words cannot describe it at all. It is that good!!! Yup it helped with Bria. Yall know how I've been struggling with her hair and man, the tangles didn't stand a chance.

I already know the masque will be the bomb so I don't even need to try it to write about it. Let me also say she was also nice enough to send the girls some of her homemade lip balm and a shampoo bar for me!!! So there you have it. Yall know how serious I am about my hair and my kids' hair and these products are the truth. You get what you pay for and they are worth every dime. I will take some pics of the girls' hair tomorrow so you can see just how healthy and moisturized it looks.

Thank you D for allowing me to try your products. You have a brand new customer for life. Don't forget me when you hit the big time and go on Oprah!!! Q

Happy Father's Day

To all the Fathers out there, I hope you enjoy your day. As usual my girls went above and beyond. They gave their dad lots of handmade gifts. They even made him a crown that says, "#1 Dad" and a scepter to go with it. Here is a pic:


Destiny and Bria made personal cards and here are some pics.
This one is Bria's


On the inside it reads, "Dad you make the garden grow. We as your seeds, are your children. Water us with things we need to know and we will grow just like you."

This is Destiny's card:


It says, "Happy Father's Day. I am going to like you today!"

Gotta love the kids. Q

Old friends new relationships

Today I took the day off to take care of some things around the house. I had the opportunity to reconnect with some old friends on a website for people who attended my high school. By the end of the day, I had spoken with 3 friends from high school. It was nice to hear from them and to just catch. We talked a little about high school but mainly about our current lives. Just like everyone else, they've had some ups and downs but everyone was doing well and enjoying life. It was really great speaking with them and we promised to keep in touch. I am looking forward to the future and seeing where our friendship will go. I thank God that time and distance allowed each of us to mature and grow and being able to finally connect at just the right time to be a part of each other lives. Once again it is a testimony of how God works in mysterious ways. I wasn't expecting any of this today but it made my day off even more wonderful!!! Q

Chocolate craving!!!

I was craving these the other night and I made them. Yes they were good and my chocolate craving has been satisfied. Q

Hair growth update

As part of my 12 week mission, I also got serious about growing my hair. I've dabbled with some growth aides and I think it is working. I started around the end of April and was at 9.5 inches. As you can see, I am now at 10.5. So I am finally averaging about an inch a month!! Q

How I outsmarted the devil

This is a post I've wanted to make for awhile but put off. Then today someone posted this on a message board I frequent:
SO and I just hit a rough patch following a heart to heart convo we had. I called a former boss (male, that I'm really close with) and he was giving me great advice and when he mentioned "I know you love him more than life itself so it's going to be hard...." I didn't stop him but I was thinking WOW people say that all the time but do they really mean it? I'm not sure if "i love anyone more than life".... I love my existence it's all I know....how can I put someone above that? I'm assuming if you love someone more than life itself that you are willing to lay down to let the other have life? My dad use to say that when we were kids...but is this the extent of it...can you really love your lover more than your own life? I
know Jesus gave his only son that we could all have life so it's correct to assume this is the way we suppose to love/live?

Thoughts?

Anyone who knows me knows I hate phrases like he/she completes me, I am nothing without him/her, he/she is my world, I can't imagine living without him/her. I have said before and I believe with every fiber of my being that words have power. You see I believe that statements like that are too powerful to be spoken lightly. Because if you say it often enough, you will believe it, live it and they will be true.

You see the devil uses phrases like that to hold people hostage. Some people give the devil way too much credit. He is not omniscient and only knows what we give him. He knows from our actions. He knows from our WORDS. When he knows how we feel about ourselves, or someone, or something he uses that against us. In the case of the phrases above, especially concerning relationships, he does one of several things. He will 1)Keep that person in your life so they will continue to be your focus. You will love and adore this person. Put all of your faith and trust in them therefore putting in the place of God. 2)He will allow the other person to see this so they will use it to control you. You will be used, taken advantage of and blame God. You will either stay and be miserable or leave and be bitter and angry at God. 3)He will take that person from you which will crush you. You will be so lost and so damaged and will began to blame God.

This is what I posted to the young lady: There is nothing wrong with loving your spouse/SO but they are human. I don't put 100% trust, love and faith in anyone but God. Not even my kids. Yes I do love them to death meaning until I die and will do just about anything for them. But my love for them pales in comparison to the love I have for the one who gave me life.

I outsmarted the devil because I understand the power of my words. I am careful about the words I speak. I am careful about how I prioritize the people and things in my life. GOD is always first. He is my first love, my true love, and he is the only one I need to live. He is the one I can't imagine my life without. He is my world, my everything. I can say that because the devil can't touch Him. God is not only all knowing but he is also all powerful. He is not man and cannot lie. He will never leave me or forsake me. He has the final say about my future. He says in His word, "I am the Lord your God. I am a jealous God. Thou shall have no other gods before me."

We make little g.o.d.s out of too many things with our words. He is simply not talking about a being. He is talking about anything that takes the place of God in our lives. It could be your job, it could be the internet, it could be your spouse, your kids anything that you allow to be your god. Always put God first. Outsmart the devil by making God your main focus. Romans 10:9 that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; The first step to be saved is confessing with your MOUTH with WORDS!!!

Start by beginning everyday by acknowledging Him first and thanking Him with your mouth. Your words can be used against you. So choose your words carefully and outsmart the devil!!! Q

A proud day for America

I honestly can't put my feelings into words. So instead I will simply say Congratulations Senator Obama!!!! Q

Song and video I am loving right now

I had the opportunity to meet Neyo last year after seeing him in concert. I have a lot of respect for the way he handled himself. I was super excited to hear that he was releasing another album this year and the title suits him well. After the "Go On Girl" video, I was hesitant but he didn't disappoint. I love the black and white look of the video. His dancers are on point as usual and his dancing is elaborate but smooth at the same time. Oh and the fact that he is paying homage to MJ just makes me love it even more. Q

Healthy hair tips

I pretty much have the hair thing down as you can see. I rarely have issues with my hair and it grows pretty quickly. It is also super thick and healthy. Here is some info I feel are essential to having beautiful, long, thick and healthy natural hair.

First I think you need to invest in quality tools. I only use bone combs, a natural boar bristle brush, denman brush, satin scarves/bonnets or pillowcases, vitamin c shower filter, micro fiber hair towels, and a pair of good hair cutting scissors. These items are a little pricey but it is worth it.

Next you need to find what works for your hair. I have tried everything but my staple lines are Envia, Sauve and Pantene. I also have organic coconut oil and castor oil. Don't be afraid to try stuff you think may not work. Buy sample or travel sizes and see how your hair responds.

Once you have a regimen down, you need to baby your hair. I take my time detangling with my bone comb and then follow with a denman to get rid of the shed hair. I wash my hair in 4 sections and apply coconut oil or castor oil to my ends. My regimen changes slightly with the weather.

Right now I am washing or co-washing, every other day. Once a month I use a clarifying shampoo and do a deep condition. If I see any serious split ends, I trim them with my scissors. When I do press my hair, I use my maxi-glide and I never get it super straight. I leave that up to my beautician and I get that done every six months along with a trim.

Pay attention to your hair and treat it accordingly. When my hair is dry, I step up the moisture by either co washing more often or spraying on a mix of distilled water and fermodyl 619 daily. If my ends are brittle, I may sure to seal them with an oil. I also massage my scalp with a little bit of castor oil or coconut oil.

If you are dealing with 2 textures and transitioning, you need to take extra care especially when combing. Detangle while wet with a lot of conditioner. Gradually trim off the relaxed ends. Play around with hairstyles like braid outs or put your hair in neat buns. Use some oil, a brush, and a scarf to smooth down the edges.

Lastly, baby your hair from the inside out. Drink lots of water. Take quality vitamins and minerals. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. You can also take MSM, biotin, flaxseed oil, or a vitamin for hair.

I hope this helps someone and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. Happy Hair Growing!!!! Q

My hair journey

So a young lady sent me an email about my hair and I told her to give me a ring so I could give her the info. I haven't heard from her so I will just put the info on here. I am getting older and these kids kill my brain cells so excuse me if I forget some stuff.

In October of 2001 my family and I arrived in Albuquerque, NM. I was relaxed at the time. My hair wasn't thriving. The weather here was really dry and I just couldn't take it. Plus I hadn't found a beautician that I trusted yet. By November, I decided to go natural. At the time, the plan was to eventually transition back to being relaxed. My hair was about mid back length at the time. Here is a pic that was taken during Thanksgiving of 2001.


In January of 2002, I decided to take another step towards being natural. I cut my hair to a chin length bob. I had about 3 months worth of new growth. I wore that for a hot minute and then decided to use braids to complete my transition. I wore braids pretty much that entire year. My youngest daughter was born that year so I was able to get some really good growth. Here is a pic taken at a bridal shower right after the cut.


In April of 2003, I was at a military school in Mississippi. I had my youngest with me and discovered she had lice. I know, just ew. In a fit of panic, I decided to treat myself just in case and cut my remaining relaxer off. I was able to put my hair in a ponytail and did my first set of twists. I pretty much didn't know how to handle being natural and just nurtured my hair the best I could.

In 2004 while searching for an old website, I stumbled across another hair forum. I joined and really got excited about having natural hair. The site had women of all hair types, textures and lengths. That same year I played around with hair color and my hair once again hit brastrap length.
Here are some pics from that time:



Later that year, I got bored with the length and cut it. Here is a press I had done after the cut:



I pretty much grew it out wearing twists and braid outs. I began to wash my hair more often and making sure it was moisturized. Here are some twists from that time:


On October 1, 2005 I went to the hairdresser with long natural hair and left with a short afro. I had never had it like that before and figured it was now or never. My beautician hesitated but finally did what I'd asked. I don't have any pics but I had to renew my license around that time so here is a pic of that:


My hair didn't take too well to the cut and grew like a weed. My little fro wasn't cute so back in braids I went. For the next 2 years I wore extension twists, twists with my own hair and just played with different styles. I did a lot of wash and go's and babied my hair. Every 6 months, I would get it pressed and trimmed. I get about an inch trimmed each time. I got it pressed for Easter in April of 2007 and realized how much my hair had grown. Here is a pic:


I continued with my same regimen until October of 2007 when I discovered, I was brastrap length again. Here is a pic:


That is my hair journey. My next post will provide tips and tricks I feel are essential to healthy hair. Q

Ask God

Yesterday my Pastor spoke at an ordination service. His topic was the title of this post. I decided to blog about it because I think it is key to serving the Lord. He spoke from 1 Samuel 23 in which David had to defend Keilah against the Philistines. In 3 instances, David was faced with a decision. Instead of listening to those around him for guidance, David inquired of the Lord. David asked God.

I remember when I finally stepped into my calling as a minister. I struggled because I had read and heard that women should not be ministers. Although I knew God called me, I was worried about others and began to question my calling. I remember going to my Pastor about it. He gave me some info to research the historical aspects of things, some scriptural references and his own views on the situation. Finally he looked at me and said, "Q, all of this stuff will help you. But honestly you really only need to ask one person." Then he pointed upward. Later I heeded his words and asked God. God said to me, "I called YOU." That was all I needed to hear.

I have the utmost respect for those in leadership positions in the church. God has placed them there to lead His people and to help us. But I also understand that they are still men and women. They are flawed just like I am. And unlike God, they don't know everything. It is important for us to not get caught up in others so much that we forget who we serve. Sometimes God has something just for you that others won't understand. Even so called Christians will talk about you and look at you sideways when you are doing something they don't understand. But if you ask God and He is guiding you, what they say shouldn't matter.

We need to stop looking down on our brothers and sisters because they don't dress the way we think they should, don't praise the way we think, or don't serve God on a day we think it should be done. We focus and battle each other on so much stuff all for the sake of being right. I am not saying we shouldn't discuss things and work stuff out. But God is a God of order. Most importantly, He is God. He wants His will to be done. We are here to lead others to Him. To bless others. To help others.

Ask God about how YOU should live your life. Ask God about how YOU should serve Him. When God answers, because he will, then you do what the Lord says and forget about everyone else. Let them talk. Let them shake their heads. Let them look down on you. You do what the Lord told you to do.

A few years ago, I stumbled across something that I thought would make my husband and I a lot of money. I look, I researched, we prayed and finally we asked God. We got the release to go ahead. At first, things were going great but then later not so much. Once again we asked God and we didn't get the release to walk away. By this time, folks were looking at us like we were crazy and began to question whether God was telling us to proceed. After awhile, we finally got the release to move on after asking God and we did. Now to others, it looked like we failed. To them they think we were not following God's word. We kind of knew how Job felt during that time. It was hard, and it was frustrating. But what they don't know is the blessings and the lessons we got out of the situation. We were able to bless people. We were able to meet people we would not have otherwise met. We learned so much about trusting God in spite of others. We learned to just lean on God and allow Him to guide us. That situation opened so many doors for us. Because of our obedience when it would have been so easy to walk away, God has blessed us all the more. We look back and smile even though there are some who still question us. We have peace because we know before we did anything, we ASKED GOD!!!! Ask God, He will answer you. Q

Lemon Icing Recipe

Someone asked me for the recipe for the lemon icing I used on the Sour Cream Pound Cake . It is real simple and I sometimes add food coloring to make it bright yellow.
2 cups of confectioner's sugar
4-6 T of lemon juice (amount depends on consistency)
Whisk until smooth.

I am going to buy a new digital camera soon so I promise to put up more pics and recipes. Thanks to everyone who read and post comments. Love ya. Q

My new baby is here!!!!

I know you are probably saying, "so what, you got a new hair dryer." But sadly, you are wrong. What you are looking at is my new hair steamer. I decided to name her April after my friend who told me about them. What's so special about a steamer? Well it adds moisture of course, helps with deep conditioning and is excellent with the detangling. It doesn't dry your hair, instead it infuses it with moisture and whatever conditioner you use along with it. For me it is essential living in a dry climate. But it is good for anyone because you use pure water in it so your hair is not steamed with hard water, chlorine or any other chemicals. I can't wait to use it on Wednesday!!! I plan on doing weekly steam treatments. Take care Q

Oh if you want to buy it, you can check it out here. Yes that is the price including shipping. Q

I've got good news!!!

When I was offered my current position, I struggled because I had to choose between the job and school. I chose the job of course. I figured I could take another route to school. After trying to do the online thing, and doing some other stuff I got discouraged. I really wanted to go to the original school. The school was perfect.
1)The degree program is in something I love.
2)The school was close to home.
3)The cost was great and with tuition assistance and my GI Bill, I would make money.
4)I would finish my degree in a year.
5)The classes were on Saturday and Sunday but only about I would only be in class for 18 weekends out of the year.

Well after much prayer, working my behind off, and getting favor, I will be able to do both. I was able to work it out so I can still work and go to school. Yes the weekends I have classes will have me up super early and working late but it is all worth it. By the end of June next year, I will have my Bachelor's!!!!!

It may not seem like a big deal but this is a dream of mine that is coming true. I have had so many setbacks since I began this journey back in 1995. Life sent a lot of things my way and I had to put it on hold so many times. But now it seems like now the time is just right. Everything is in order and I know this is only the beginning. Although I didn't know it, God had it all planned out and it worked out perfectly. Plus when it is all said and done, He will get the glory. God is good!!! Thank you to everyone who prayed for and encouraged me. Q

I got my behind kicked yesterday!!!!

I was all set to go yesterday. I left work a little after 5 pm. The class started at 5:30 and I arrived around 5:15. Another class was finishing up and they were on the floor working their abs and stretching. The female manager, Noelle greeted me and got me signed in. Her husband Reece, whom I had spoken too on the phone came over and gave me some info. He took me over to the bags and told me where to stand and gave me some practice gloves. He was also going to be the instructor for the hour.

The class was made up of mostly women. In the workout area, there is a large padded area without about 50 large bags hanging down. To the right is an actual boxing ring and on the left is the cardio equipment, bathroom, shower and weights. We start warming up and so far so good. He then tells us to partner up. There is a lady next to me and it was her first class as well. She was so nervous that she kept punching my hands a little too hard during one routine. Then he switched to having us do combinations on the bag. He came around and corrected our form and would also put on gear and let folks spar with him.

The next combo involved kicks. We were about 15 minutes into the actual workout and I was already sweating. Even if we weren't punching or kicking, he had us squatting or working our arms. We did some more combos involving the knees and elbows. Next we hit the floor. Using the bag by putting our feet under it, we did sit ups followed by jabs to the bag. That went on for what seemed like forever then we got back up. More combos, then squats, and I kind of blacked out!!!

Finally we were on the floor and I was happy. That only last about a minute as soon as we started the ab workout. He worked every single part of the abs doing different types of exercises. Even though it was hard, I liked it because he stressed the importance of form versus reps. After about 10 minutes of what seemed like an hour, we began to stretch. I have never been so happy to stretch before in my life!!!

I guzzled my water down like I was a slave in the southern heat and headed to the counter. Reece smiled and asked me how it was and I could only nod my head. Noelle smiled. Then he asked if I want to join today or at another time. I told him my body was saying no but my mind said yes. I stood there with legs wobbling, and my hands shaking while trying to fill out the info. I was already feeling the workout.

I cooked in the morning but I was so hungry and so beat, I swung by McDonalds and got a chicken sandwich meal. I got home and hit the couch trying to finish my food. It was a struggle just to bring the food up to my mouth. After sitting and trying to get my body to move, I headed to my bedroom. I hit the shower and just laid on the bed while the t.v. watched me. I went to bed early because I didn't even watch the season finale of Medium. I don't even remember Thomas coming to bed. This morning I am sore. I feel it in my legs, my back, my stomach and my arms. So for $59 a month, I know I am getting my money's worth. I plan on going back on Thursday after work. Y'all pray for me!!! Q

12 week update

Well I have good news and bad news. The good news is, I am doing great. I am trying out this new gym today. It focuses on boxing and kickboxing. It's also located right down the street from my job. When I leave work, I can head there, and then straight home and have my workout out of the way. They allow you to take a free class and I am going today after work. We will use real boxing gloves, and bags. The classes burn 800-1000 calories an hour. They promise I will be sore after the first class. It also has weight equipment and exercise machines that I can use anytime during gym hours. My goal is to take a class at least 3 times a week and continue the Body For Life weight workouts the other 3 days.

Now the bad news is not really that bad. Thomas has to go to NCO academy in June for 6 weeks. So if you do the math, that would run right into our anniversary week. So we have to push it back. We will still probably do something on July 9th but we won't be able to get away until August. It kind of works out great because we decided to go to Vegas!!! I will be there July 31st to August 3rd for a convention. So he is just going to fly in and we will stay until my birthday on the 8th. We are going to fly my mom in so she can hang with her grandkids for that week.

All in all, I guess I can't complain. I still plan on taking family pics and I will probably schedule a picture day soon to put even more pressure on. Thanks to everyone for encouraging me by commenting, shooting me an email, or giving me a ring. It really means a lot knowing I have some support as I reach my goals. Love ya. Q

Lazy hair days

This is how I rock my hair when I am lazy. To achieve this bun, I have to trick my hair. You see my hair is super thick and I have to trick it into being tame!!! So what I did was wash, and condition my hair in sections. I de-tangled, applied castor oil to my hair, and put it in about 12-15 braids. I let it dry overnight. The next day, I used my fingers to take the braids out applying a little more castor oil to my edges. After they were out, I brushed my hair back, put in a ponytail holder, braided the ends, and tuck it under the holder. If you look close, you can see waves. That is not my texture but the remnants of the braids.

To maintain, I take the braid out daily, apply more oil to the ends, re braid, re-tuck and put on a satin scarf and then a satin bonnet. In the a.m. my hair is smooth, neat, and protected. Take care Q

Lord and Savior Part 2

Everyone is okay with Jesus being their savior. Let's look at what I found shall we. A savior saves, rescues, and delivers. We love that part of Jesus. In fact when we become one of His followers, we say we are saved. We are okay when we want Jesus to forgive our sins. We are okay with the Jesus that delivers us from evil. We are okay with the Jesus that died on the cross for us. Who took being spat on, made fun off, who was laughed at, who was beaten and bruised. Most of our prayers involves asking God for something. We want to be healed, restored, set free, saved. Folks have no problem hearing about the goodness of God and all the blessings He gives but the Lord part is overlooked.

You see Jesus has to be your Lord AND Savior. You can't have one without the other. If you look at the definitions for Lord and for Savior, Jesus is listed under both. When He died on the cross He purchased our lives. Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. There goes that word Lord again. We deserved death. That was supposed to be our payment for our sins. But Jesus wrote the debt off and now we are workers for Him.

Now lets look at Lord.
A person who has authority- we gave Jesus authority over our lives when we accepted Him. Satan had us as soon as we sinned and we were owned by him. The only thing to pay it off was death. Jesus fulfilled it with His death because He was without sin and yet died.
A master, a king- Revelation 6:16 On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.
You see we serve the King. We are here not for ourselves but to do His will. The Lord part is hard because we are stubborn. Our flesh doesn't want to serve anyone or anything but itself. But understand if you don't serve the Lord, you will serve someone, and you may not like the other option. See we have a King that is not like most Kings. Our King gives us free will to serve Him our not. But there will be consequences for not following the rules of the King. What kind of King would he be if he allowed everyone to do what they please and still get the reward of eternal life in heaven? Who in their right mind would follow a King with no backbone?

We serve a King who went beyond just ruling on high and looking low. He decided to come from heaven, wrap himself in flesh, and die just for us. He didn't just speak about doing something, he did it. He didn't send an angel, John, or Moses, or Elijah. He did it himself. He was and is the ultimate example for us to follow. We don't fight the battles alone. We don't have to worry about the war because we win. If we just hold on and do what we are told, victory is ours.

So what does this mean? It means that serving God won't always be easy. Yes He loves us. Yes He will heal us. Yes He will save us. But their is another side to the coin so flip it over. The Lord part means we will sometimes have to go places, and do things we don't like. That means we may have to make certain sacrifices like fasting. That also means that we must always be prepared for battle. We must be armed with the Word of God in order to overcome the traps that are set for us. We must take up our cross daily and make sure God is always first. We must sometimes put off or set aside things we want for ourselves in order to do God's will. It sounds hard and it sounds unfair but the reward in the end far outweighs what you will have to give up now.

If you have accepted Christ, you have accepted Him as Lord and Savior. If He is not your Lord he cannot be your Savior. He cannot give you the blessings of His child if you are not obedient to Him as your Lord. Don't let your flesh and the devil trick you into disobeying God. 2 Chronicles 24:20 (b portion) Why do you disobey the Lord's commands? You will not prosper. Because you have forsaken the Lord, he has forsaken you.

We serve a God of Love. We serve an awesome God. But understand He is still God. He is still the King and we wants willing workers who will serve and obey Him. These posts have made me look at myself and examine areas where I have not been obedient to God. I have become a little selfish and try to put off the things that are pleasing to Him. I am going to make a conscious effort to do God's will no matter the cost. Doing otherwise is not worth it to me. Most people greatest fear is losing their husband, their wife, or their kids. Mine is not hearing "well done" when I see the Lord. So choose ye today who you will serve. Q

Luke 6:46-49 "Why do you call me, Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say?
I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and put them into practice.
He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.
But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."

Serving God has it's rewards that no one else can give!!!! Q

Lord and Savior Part 1

For the past 2 weeks I've been talking on the phone almost daily to my new friend April. We started talking because of our common interest in hair. From there we realized how much we had in common. For one, she is a Christian like I am. She also loves to talk about the Lord just as much as I do. I can't tell you how blessed I've been to speak with her on the phone. One night we talked for over 3 hours straight!!!

The other night during our conversation about God, she said something that was so profound. She said, "some people have accepted Jesus as their Savior but not as their Lord." That was like an ah ha moment for me. I even discussed it with Thomas. Today when I taught Sunday school, I used her statement while talking about priorities. I've been thinking about it every day since then and decided to blog about it.

I went to dictionary.com and found a couple of definitions for Savior. Here are some of them:
a person who saves, rescues, or delivers
a title of God, esp. of Christ
A person who rescues another from harm, danger, or loss
In Christian sense, translation of Gk. soter "savior." Replaced O.E. hælend "healer."
Thou shalt call his name Jesus; for he shall save his people from their sins. --Matt. i. 21


Here are some definitions for the word Lord:
a person who has authority, control, or power over others; a master, chief, or ruler
A man of renowned power or authority.
Archaic The male head of a household
Christianity Jesus.
A king.

I will blog and elaborate further with my next post. Q

Sunday's dinner

This is what I made for dinner on Sunday. It was citrus glazed chicken, garlic mashed potatoes and spinach. This was Bria's plate, she let me take a picture. Q