It's time for a change

That was the title of the last sermon I preached a few Sundays ago. There I was filled with the Holy Spirit preaching, and sweating. Everyone was pretty much on their feet because the word resonated with them. But that word was as much for me as it was for them. I knew this year would be different for me. Eight is the number of new beginnings and I was born on 08/08/08 and turned 30 this year. God has come down hard on me this year unlike any other. He has shaken up friendships I once had, allowed me to be under attack a lot more, and put me in situations where I couldn't defend myself. It is hard not being able to say something because God told me not to. So yeah I've had to look like a punk, sell out, and two faced. But I know it's because He loves me and He was pushing me towards the next level in my walk and I need to experience certain things. Those things have only made me stronger and made me to want to be closer to Him even more.

I can honestly say I have made way to many mistakes. Some of them, could have easily been avoided. I haven't always been the best witness for Christ either. I too got a little too caught up in things of the world. I guess I could make excuses, but I won't because excuses can't change the past. Instead I choose to change and to be better. Some people say this board can be addictive but this board only has the power you give it. I have learned that it is not certain things that hinder me, but it is me and the power I give to things.

As you all know, I am going on a break from a lot of the internet forums I participate in. Not because I think there is anything wrong with the actual forums. But I need to make some changes for [b]me.[/b] This is one of many small distractions right now I need to eliminate for the next couple of weeks so I can deal more with the man in the mirror. As long as I allowed certain things to be a distraction, I will never deal with the things I need to. So now I won't have any excuses.

It's time for a change. It's time for me to change. It is my prayer that when I return I will be a better Queeny on and off the board. I want to be a better wife, mother, friend, minister. I want to be rid of the bad habits I let hinder my spiritual growth like my anger, gossiping, and involving myself in wordly conversations, situations, and discussions. That doesn't mean I won't participate and enjoy the forums, it just means I will be wiser about the things I say, the things I post, and the discussions I join in. But most importantly, I must change because God changes not. If I want to be more like Him, I need to change because He won't change for me. He is the same God today, yesterday and forever more. I will miss you guys but I will be back and better than ever. You can follow me right here as I follow Him. Much love. Q

Will they reminisce over you?!!!

I think about death a lot. Especially as of late because of the people I have lost recently. I don't fear it but I don't want it to pay me a visit, at least not yet. There is so much I feel I need to do first but nevertheless, I am ready for it. I have all of my arrangements set up. There is to be no black, a lot of music, and a lot of laughs. Everyone who speaks has to tell something funny about me.

I try to live each day like it is my last. I think a lot about my legacy and how I will be remembered especially when it comes to my girls. I want to be the kind of mother they want to be when they get older. And I try to do the little things to let everyone around me know just how special they are to me.

What matters most to me is not how I am as a person is remembered but how my spirit lives on. Not the spirit that others see, but the spirit within that strives to be like God. When people think of me, besides remembering how cute I am and funny I was, I want them to remember the power of Christ in my life. I want them to think of me and want to be more like Him, want to get to know Him better, want to live their lives so they can see Him. I want them to know the good I've done is because of Him, and the bad is something they should try to avoid.

That's how I want to be remembered, as someone who lived her life being a vessel that God used to bless others. My good works done through Him, will bless others, who will then bless other people, and the blessings will continue to go on and on. All that I am, all that I want to be, and the good that comes from me, is all because of Him and Him alone. So when you remember me, you are remembering Christ, His sacrifice, which means I will live and be remembered forever. I am forever alive because He lives. John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son. That whosoever believeth in Him, shall not perish but have eternal life. Q

More food pics

Here is the finished sweet potato pie, the sweet potato casserole the Supremes made and mashed potatoes. I didn't get to make the red velvet cupcakes because I realized I didn't have enough sugar. But I made a pecan pie. I told the girls I would do them for Christmas. Bria suggested I do half red and half green so I just might. I forgot to take a pic of the turkey before we carved it all up but it was good and juicy. The girls did a Thanksgiving play and made their costumes and everything. I am going to record it tomorrow and see if I can upload it. Q

Thanksgiving Day food pics

My cornbread dressing.


Macaroni and cheese up close.


My sweet potato pie about to go into the oven.


This is my homemade pie crust. I love making this so store brought is not an option. No offense to anyone who does.


The turkey is still roasting. I still need to finish the red velvet cake (thinking about doing cupcakes), the mashed potatoes, gravy and string beans. But I am still on time for dinner at 4. More pics to come soon. Q

The highs and lows of life

Yesterday I checked my email and had a friend request from myspace. It was only a first name but I immediately knew who it was. It was my friend Moe from NY. She and I went to elementary and junior high school together. We lost contact after graduation. So here is it about 15 years later and we are on the phone giggling and laughing like old times. We scanned some old pics and sent them to each other and caught up on all of our close friends. I was so happy last night and I was giddy as I went to sleep.

This morning I logged in to check my email and I had one from my high school's networking site. A young lady named Gabby that I went to high school with passed away from cancer. I didn't know her in school but we communicated via the site several times. I prayed for her, sent her well wishes, and smiled as she posted pics of herself living life. She got a chance to meet several celebrities and was actively involved in cancer awareness. I followed her as she blog about her journey through chemo up until her last post on September 6th. Her cancer had returned and they were unsure about when to start new treatments.

So here I sit today happy to be reconnected with an old friend and mourning the passing of another. I wanted to end this post with some of Gabby's last words because even in the end she was strong in the Lord. I ask that you pray for her family. Q

"I do ask that you be not afraid for me in this. The Lord Jesus our God does not give us a spirit of fear. It is not of Him. He gives us his graces, mercy, love salvation and life eternal in Him. He died so we all can live! Please continue to pray for me and my family as we take this journey. And I also ask that if you don’t know Him seek Him! He is the answer all things – we can’t rely on the things and the promises of this world because it is not of God!"

You are what you speak

Your words have power. The bible says death and life are in the power of tongue. We kill our own dreams and blessings just by opening our mouths. If you say something enough, you will believe it. If you believe it, you will become it. So we must be careful to not become the negative things we speak into our lives. It is not the tongue itself that has the power but the words. The words have power because of where they come from. The tongue itself is just a tool but Matthew 12:34 states, "For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." Those negative words are originating from your heart.

There is a Psalm that I use in my prayer life almost daily. Psalm 51:10 Create in me, a clean heart, O God and renew a right spirit within me. I pray it because I want my heart to be clean and my spirit to be right in God's eyes so the words that come from the abundance of my heart are right and clean as well. A lot of folks speak words, that never come to pass and they wonder why. It's because the source of the words is not clean.

If your heart is not clean then how can you expect your words to have a positive affect in your life? It's like having a bucket full of mud with fruit in it and hoping to pull out a clean one to eat. Get rid of the muddy water first and you won't have to worry about the fruit you choose because all of it will be clean. Our hearts work in the same way. It has to be clean.

Once our heart and our spirits are right then we need to choose our words. We live so much in this world that we began to speak like it. I am not talking about cursing either. It is normal to us but we shouldn't use the world's dictionary for our words, we should instead use the word of God. Instead of saying "I can't do it say", "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Instead of saying, "It's too hard" say, "There is nothing too hard for God." Instead of saying, "It's impossible" say, "With God all things are possible." Instead of saying, "I don't have the power to do it" say, "Greater is He that is in me, than He that is in the world." So it is important for us to get the word of God in us so we will have nothing but His words of power to choose and to speak over our lives.

If you say it, you will believe it. If you believe it, you will become it. You are what you speak so get your heart right and choose to speak the words of the Lord over your life. Much love. Q

You have not because you ask not

This word came to me a few weeks ago and I kept putting off posting it but God put it on my mind the first thing this morning so I wouldn't forget.

A few weeks ago at our weekly church prayer meeting, I heard God say, "you have not because you ask not." We prayed individually and then our Pastor called all of the members to the front to meet and began to talk about the importance of prayer and then he said, "you have not because you ask not." I got the same word again recently in a pm exchange with another member.

I've been thinking about what the Lord said to me. Any other time I would have said that word wasn't for me but I can't this time. I had to take a deep look and I realized it had been awhile since I asked God to give me something I really needed and or desired. I go to Him for daily guidance, prayer etc.. But when it comes time to ask for something that is needed or wanted, I hadn't done it in awhile.

Like a lot of folks, I guess a part of me feels I am so blessed already that it would be selfish of me to ask for more. Even though it is true that I am blessed, God still wants to bless His children even more. But we have to ask.

Deep down inside, I knew there were things I wanted and needed but I figured God already knew. Yes it is true that He knows but we still need to ask. Asking is a show of faith. It is our way of saying "Lord I trust you enough to come to you for something no one else can give to me." Your faith is also being exercised by waiting for Him to bring what you asked to pass. Asking also shows God that you recognize Him as the head of your life. The time you spend praying and asking is also more time you are spending with the Lord and in His presence. For some of us, that is the only time God is able to hear from us and the only time we actually listen to Him. Asking is so powerful.

You also have to understand that asking opens up so many other doors. God may have something for you to do, you are also taking the responsibility for what He gives you, and know you may not get the answer you want. But you have to trust God enough because He knows what's best. Even if it hurts when you don't get what you want, understand God always does what will bless you and not bring sorrow to you.

This is not to be abused and used to ask God for things you can get on your own or things within your reach. I am talking about asking God to do those things only He can do like, heal your body, bless you with a new job, or help you to overcome a spiritual struggle. We are lacking not because we aren't blessed some of us are lacking because we refuse to ask. Take care. Q

Back at One

This year has been filled with so many ups and downs. I have learned so much, good and bad about myself. I know that now more than ever, I need God in my life each and everyday. I am honest enough to say I have let too many things distract me and take me away from my first love. Over the past couple of weeks I have become more and more convicted about a lot things.

I know some people feel I share too much but I do it not for attention or for glory. I do it because I want others to learn from my mistakes and see the power of God at work in spite of how weak I am. I want them to see me and all my flaws and think, "if she can still serve God, then I can too. If she can still fall and get up, then I can to." Even if it makes you want to not be like me but to be a better Christian, it is worth it. This is why I do what I do. There is nothing anyone can say to me that I haven't said. No one can show me my faults because I know them already. You can't expose me because I've already been exposed to myself and I don't like the person I see so I can understand why others may not like things about her as well.

God began to move people out of my life showing me who I really am. I have not been the best witness I would have liked to have been. It's hard because a part of me wants to just be Q but another part recognizes I have been called to a higher standard. I know that not being perfect is no excuse because I know better. So the time has come for me to step up the plate and put up or shut up.

I already knew that 2008 was going to be a year of new beginnings for me and the time has finally come for me to take my rightful place and be one of the agents of change God has put me in this world to be. Last Sunday I did a sermon at my church titled "It's Time for A Change." It was my most powerful one to date. Little did I know it was a sermon designed not only for the members but for me. I know it won't be easy but failure is not an option for me. I HAVE TO DO THIS!!!

Very soon I will be slowly pulling away from my online activities and spending more time with my first love, the Lord. I won't be as active on the web until God tells me I am ready to be the Q He wants me to be on and off line. But, I wanted to share with you this book I got early on in my walk that really blessed me. I started reading it tonight and it's the first step of many I need to take towards being who I need to be. The name of the book is "What Matters Most" by Tony Edwards. It focuses on the Four Absolute Necessities In Following Christ which are worship, fellowship, Scripture, and evangelism.

I wanted to leave you with the last 2 paragraphs of the introduction:
"It is my prayer that by the time you complete this book you will have a functional handle on what it takes to be an authentic follower of Jesus Christ. I also pray that you will order your life around these four necessities that will take you where you want to go.

When you and I do this, our lives will take on a dimension of joy, power, peace, and victory we may have never known before, one that will be ours regardless of circumstances. This is so because we will have discovered what matters most."


I will be posting commentary and insight from my studies on this blog as often as possible. Be blessed. Q

I was right

This morning I heard a beeping sound. It was my answering machine notifying me that I had a message on it. I heard my mom's voice speaking on back to back messages. I tried calling her back but she didn't answer. I was nervous and scared because it must have been an emergency for her to call me so early. I finally got in contact with my grandmother. My mother called me back shortly thereafter and confirmed what my grandmother had told me. One of my close friend's brother passed away. There was some stuff that took place that led him to take his own life. His mother is another mother of mine. I actually call her mother. I lived with them during a short transition in my life and we visit them every time we go back home. I can't imagine what she is going through but I plan on being there for her as much as possible. Please pray for his family. Q

Feeling some kinda way

I don't know what's going on but I feel sick to my stomach. I don't know if something bad is about to happen or I am just stressing myself out as usual. All I can do is pray. Q

Oh Yes I did

Yall know I can be a little mean (shut up Ms.Honey). I am a no nonsense kind of mom. So I had a plan set in motion to teach my kids a lesson. I got tired of fussing at them to clean up after themselves so I decided to show them better than I could tell them. I was going to be extra evil and wake them up at 0 dark thirty, basic training style. But I wanted to sleep in and didn't want to punish myself in the process.

I waited until they were fed, comfortable and just thinking they were going to enjoy the day off from school and I sprung into action. I called them to my bedroom door and told them what was going to happen. They were happy thinking it was going to be fun. That soon ended about 15 minutes in and they were mad and blaming each other. We started in their bedroom, then did the walls in the hall, went to the kitchen and their playroom and finished with the bathroom. B tried to be cute by saying it was fun. So I told her good because she can do it every week from now on. D and K just looked and didn't say a word.

After the bathroom was done, I told them all the other stuff I did around the house that they had yet to do. They just looked. Dh fixed them lunch and as they were eating I told them to hurry up because there was more. D and K looked like they saw a ghost!!!! B was still trying to be cool. So I told them that was enough but told B to come see me when she was ready to clean some more.

So as I sit here typing, D came and sat next to me. I asked her how did she like cleaning and she said she didn't. K hasn't talked to me yet. Oh and as for Miss B. Miss I can do more cleaning. Miss this is so much fun. Miss I want to do this again. Well she is sleep!!! Oh yes I did, momma don't play. Q

I've finally arrived

So today I logged into my email and realized I had an anon comment about the Obama rally. This person decided to say something so stupid and lame. I edited the comment to my liking. I guess they thought it would tick me off but really it made me smile. Thank you to whoever it was because now I know I have finally arrived. If you take the time to come over to my spot and is coward enough to not even say who you are, and then use words that have no power over me and my life, thank you for showing me how important I am to you!!! You really made me smile. I will pray for you and continue to live my life to the fullest knowing I am not mean, spiteful, and full of hate and ignorance like you are. Have a blessed day!!!! ***hums Jill Scott's HATE ON ME*** Q

Confirmation.....

Yes I am back with a whole lot to say. Now that the elections are over (OBAMA), I am back to posting as usual.

It is amazing how well God knows us. He sometimes uses the most unlikely person or thing to confirmed something you've wondering about. It happened to me this weekend.

For awhile now, I have been thinking about making some career moves. Yeah I know it's sounds crazy but it is what it is. It is a tough spot to be in because for the most part, I love my job. It is in a great location. It is pretty flexible. I get paid really well and I have excellent benefits. I really can't complain. But nevertheless I've been feeling different lately. You see I work in accounting so I spend my time behind the computer playing with numbers. It can be so boring!!! I am a people person and I rarely have interaction with customers or anyone outside my office. I convinced myself to stick it out but now I don't want to anymore.

So anyway I had been thinking but I didn't want to do anything without first praying, talking to my dh and hearing from the Lord how to proceed. I got my answers but I was still questioning my decision. This Saturday I was off and went to get my yearly eye examination. This was a new Optometrist and me being me, I turned on the charm and we chatted up during the process. As I was leaving to pay and get my prescription, he turned and said "you should be doing something else besides sitting behind a computer all day. You have a great personality, and you should be out interacting with people because you are a pleasure to be around." I smiled and told him he was right and that this was a means to an end for right now. Then later while eating some Chinese food, I opened up a fortune cookie. Now I don't believe in all that but I do like to eat them and I read the fortune from time to time just to be curious. This is what the fortune said, "You know what you want- Go for it."

Now I know what I have to do. It won't be easy but I am stepping out on faith and trusting in God to open some doors for me. I thank God for confirming what I already believed He wanted me to do. Keep me in your prayers. Q

No words needed!!!!

In honor of today

I am filled with too much emotion right now to post. But I will sum up everything later. In the meantime, enjoy!!! Q