Self Esteem Assignment #2

For this week, I want you to do something you don't usually do to make yourself feel good. You can get a massage, a manicure, pedicure or you can do those yourself. You can go out to eat at a nice restaurant alone or have a nice bubble bath. Sometimes I will just put on some feel good music and just sing loud and off key and dance my behind off. I want you to treat yourself because you deserve it. Do something that will make you smile. Q

Self esteem assignment #1

So I was chosen to be a mentor by a few ladies on a board I am a member of. I was so blessed and honored that they chose me. One of the things we are working on is self esteem. I must admit I wasn't always confident about myself. But over time, I've really learned to love myself. The first assignment for last week was for them to make a list of all the positive things in their life. Not a list of the things they liked about themselves but positive things. For instance, I have a wonderful husband, I have 3 great kids, I have a great job etc.

Once a person does that, they will be amazed at how many good things they have going on in their lives. I also told them that whenever they felt down, to pull out the list and say it out loud and to actually visualize the things listed. I've already received reports of how it helped them and I am so happy. Now it's your turn. Make a list of all the positive things in your life and look at it whenever you feel negative thoughts or emotions rising. Take care Q

What about your friends (Part 2)

There is a saying that goes, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." But I feel nothing is worse than when your friend becomes your enemy. See with a person who has always been your enemy you always know where they are coming from. You know they don't mean you any harm anyway so you don't trust them as far as you can throw them. But a friend who becomes your enemy is bad. They are someone whom you've trusted, confided in, and cared for. They know the good, the bad, and the ugly about you and they can now use it against you.

I have issues with folks who are no longer friends. Well I have issues with the way things are handled when they are no longer friends. I was talking to someone a few years ago who had just had a falling out with a friend. They were telling me all of this person' business and just straight blasting them. I thought, "if they are saying that about her, I can imagine what they say about me." Now I know they were probably upset but it doesn't excuse their actions. If they were a true friend NOTHING would make them say what they said to me, NOTHING.

I know you are probably saying that is easier said than done. Well let me tell you a story. I knew someone I considered a friend while in college. We went out one night and had a blast. Some mess went down and we made a vow not to say a word. Well folks started speculating and she cracked like Humpty Dumpty. She only told the stuff that involved me and made me look bad. I was hurt, I was crushed, and it was hard to defend myself because I would have to go against my word. So no matter how hard it was, no matter how hurt I was, I didn't do it. I took the all of it on myself. That incident pushed me over the edge. I was darn near suicidal but I never said a word.

I learned so much from that incident. I know what it's like to be a true friend. I also know the hurt and pain you feel when a friend betrays you. It is because of that incident and others that I understand what friendship really is. I am still like that to this day. Whatever is told to me in confidence is kept in confidence. There is nothing you can say or do that will make me take what my friend has told me (as long as it's nothing illegal) and use it against them. I would never tell their secrets. I would never use their insecurities and hurl it back at them. I would never get so enraged that I would treat them like they were always my enemy. I would never cuss them out.

If you were my friend you won't have to worry about adding me to your enemy list. I don't get down like that. We may no longer be friends but I won't risk doing or saying something that would make it impossible for us to be friends in the future. If I have ever called you my friend then I meant it. The ending of the friendship doesn't change the fact that we were once friends. Call me stupid, call me a punk, call me whatever, but you won't be able to say I wasn't a friend. Q

Taking it back to the old school

This is the first pic Thomas and I took as a couple. It was taken at our squadron's Christmas party in 1997. Don't we look great?!!! Q

What about your friends? Part 1

I've had this post on my mind for a minute now. I've learned a lot about friends and frienships over the years. I know what it takes to be a good friend, how to be one and how to rid yourself of those who aren't truly your friend. I've been thinking about this a lot lately because so many things have been going on in my life. I've seen and heard somethings that really made me say hmmm. Especially now that I am reconnecting with some friends from my past. Anyway some who I love sent me this email the other day and it talked about friends. It made me think long and hard so I wanted to share it with you. I will post more about friends in part 2 of this. Q

The Company You Keep

It is better to be alone than in the wrong company. Tell me who your
best friends are, and I will tell you who you are. If you run with
wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles,
you will learn how to soar to great heights. A mirror reflects a mans
face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he
chooses. The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those
with whom you closely associate for the good and the bad. The less you
associate with some people, the more your life will improve.

Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your
mediocrity.An important attribute in successful people is their
impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you
grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want
you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that
don't help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch
your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you will
eventually decrease you.

Consider This:
Never receive counsel from unproductive people.Never discuss your
problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because
those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not
everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the
worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.
Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere. With some people you spend
an evening: with others you invest it.Be careful where you stop to
inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who
fortifies his life with the right friendships.

Happy moments, Praise God
Difficult moments, Seek God
Quiet moments, Worship God
Painful moments, Trust God
Every moment, Thank God

If you see people without a smile today, give them one of yours.
Choose to rise...Don't settle...and go for your dreams!!!
And most of all let God lead you in everything you do.

"Do not ask God to order your footsteps, if you are not willing to move
your feet."

"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he
will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties."
Sir Francis Bacon

No more fros for me

On Father's Day I decided to rock my fro. I washed my hair while it was in braids and took my time combing each one out while applying some Miss Jessie's. My hair was big and beautiful. So off I went to put my little scarf on and it just flopped. Like Reggie Miller against the Knicks, it flopped. I was hurt and crushed. So I played around, messed with my hair and scarf and rocked a puff instead. I guess I should be happy that my hair is so long that I can't rock it the way I want but I was still sad. I can still wear one when I do a wash and go, I just can't fluff it out. Anyway, here is how I wore it on Sunday. Q

Congratulations to the Celtics

Yes I am a Knicks fan at heart but I have so much respect for Kevin Garnett and Doc Rivers. I was in tears right along with them. They deserve it. Congrats to the Celtics, the city of Boston and their fans!!!! Q

New hair products and a review

One of the wonderful members from a board I am apart of sent me a private message one day. She was also my secret Santa this past Christmas and she gave me some wonderful gifts. Anyway she told me that she just recently created some hair products and wanted me to try them on the girls' hair. I said sure and I felt so honored. First let me say how shocked I was because she sent me full sized bottles of almost her entire line.

First the name of the line is Jasmine's Bath and Beauty Products. I received 5 products total. They were the shampoo, moisturizing conditioner, detangling leave in spray, the cream rinse and the coconut conditioning masque. I used everything except for the masque on the girls. Why? Because I am saving that for me and what. So anyway here is the info.

Shampoo- First a little goes a long way. It lathers extremely well. What I loved about it is the way it made their hair feel. It felt clean but not stripped. It was conditioned but it wasn't sticky. I can't explain it because no shampoo has ever done that. Their hair was soft just from using it.

Super moisturizing conditioner- It was creamy but not to thick. It did not leave the hair heavy and coated and rinsed out well.

Cream Rinse- it was thicker than the conditioner- I put it on the girls' hair and did the steam treatment. This is really a keeper for Destiny because her hair gets super dry but after rinsing, it was soft and moisturized.

Detangling Leave In Spray- I don't even want to tell yall about this because I know it is going to be out of stock soon. When I first saw it in the bottle, I was shocked because it is thick and it is in a spray bottle. That tells me that she didn't just put a lot of water and crap in it but quality ingredients. Seriously it doesn't just wet the hair, it coats it. It doesn't leave it heavy but silky so when you comb or brush, it just glides. When it first goes on, it feels a little greasy but as you work it in it is not greasy at all. Can I say I love this stuff?!!!! Yup it is right up there with my beloved Pantene hair mask. Seriously words cannot describe it at all. It is that good!!! Yup it helped with Bria. Yall know how I've been struggling with her hair and man, the tangles didn't stand a chance.

I already know the masque will be the bomb so I don't even need to try it to write about it. Let me also say she was also nice enough to send the girls some of her homemade lip balm and a shampoo bar for me!!! So there you have it. Yall know how serious I am about my hair and my kids' hair and these products are the truth. You get what you pay for and they are worth every dime. I will take some pics of the girls' hair tomorrow so you can see just how healthy and moisturized it looks.

Thank you D for allowing me to try your products. You have a brand new customer for life. Don't forget me when you hit the big time and go on Oprah!!! Q

Happy Father's Day

To all the Fathers out there, I hope you enjoy your day. As usual my girls went above and beyond. They gave their dad lots of handmade gifts. They even made him a crown that says, "#1 Dad" and a scepter to go with it. Here is a pic:


Destiny and Bria made personal cards and here are some pics.
This one is Bria's


On the inside it reads, "Dad you make the garden grow. We as your seeds, are your children. Water us with things we need to know and we will grow just like you."

This is Destiny's card:


It says, "Happy Father's Day. I am going to like you today!"

Gotta love the kids. Q

Old friends new relationships

Today I took the day off to take care of some things around the house. I had the opportunity to reconnect with some old friends on a website for people who attended my high school. By the end of the day, I had spoken with 3 friends from high school. It was nice to hear from them and to just catch. We talked a little about high school but mainly about our current lives. Just like everyone else, they've had some ups and downs but everyone was doing well and enjoying life. It was really great speaking with them and we promised to keep in touch. I am looking forward to the future and seeing where our friendship will go. I thank God that time and distance allowed each of us to mature and grow and being able to finally connect at just the right time to be a part of each other lives. Once again it is a testimony of how God works in mysterious ways. I wasn't expecting any of this today but it made my day off even more wonderful!!! Q

Chocolate craving!!!

I was craving these the other night and I made them. Yes they were good and my chocolate craving has been satisfied. Q

Hair growth update

As part of my 12 week mission, I also got serious about growing my hair. I've dabbled with some growth aides and I think it is working. I started around the end of April and was at 9.5 inches. As you can see, I am now at 10.5. So I am finally averaging about an inch a month!! Q

How I outsmarted the devil

This is a post I've wanted to make for awhile but put off. Then today someone posted this on a message board I frequent:
SO and I just hit a rough patch following a heart to heart convo we had. I called a former boss (male, that I'm really close with) and he was giving me great advice and when he mentioned "I know you love him more than life itself so it's going to be hard...." I didn't stop him but I was thinking WOW people say that all the time but do they really mean it? I'm not sure if "i love anyone more than life".... I love my existence it's all I know....how can I put someone above that? I'm assuming if you love someone more than life itself that you are willing to lay down to let the other have life? My dad use to say that when we were kids...but is this the extent of it...can you really love your lover more than your own life? I
know Jesus gave his only son that we could all have life so it's correct to assume this is the way we suppose to love/live?

Thoughts?

Anyone who knows me knows I hate phrases like he/she completes me, I am nothing without him/her, he/she is my world, I can't imagine living without him/her. I have said before and I believe with every fiber of my being that words have power. You see I believe that statements like that are too powerful to be spoken lightly. Because if you say it often enough, you will believe it, live it and they will be true.

You see the devil uses phrases like that to hold people hostage. Some people give the devil way too much credit. He is not omniscient and only knows what we give him. He knows from our actions. He knows from our WORDS. When he knows how we feel about ourselves, or someone, or something he uses that against us. In the case of the phrases above, especially concerning relationships, he does one of several things. He will 1)Keep that person in your life so they will continue to be your focus. You will love and adore this person. Put all of your faith and trust in them therefore putting in the place of God. 2)He will allow the other person to see this so they will use it to control you. You will be used, taken advantage of and blame God. You will either stay and be miserable or leave and be bitter and angry at God. 3)He will take that person from you which will crush you. You will be so lost and so damaged and will began to blame God.

This is what I posted to the young lady: There is nothing wrong with loving your spouse/SO but they are human. I don't put 100% trust, love and faith in anyone but God. Not even my kids. Yes I do love them to death meaning until I die and will do just about anything for them. But my love for them pales in comparison to the love I have for the one who gave me life.

I outsmarted the devil because I understand the power of my words. I am careful about the words I speak. I am careful about how I prioritize the people and things in my life. GOD is always first. He is my first love, my true love, and he is the only one I need to live. He is the one I can't imagine my life without. He is my world, my everything. I can say that because the devil can't touch Him. God is not only all knowing but he is also all powerful. He is not man and cannot lie. He will never leave me or forsake me. He has the final say about my future. He says in His word, "I am the Lord your God. I am a jealous God. Thou shall have no other gods before me."

We make little g.o.d.s out of too many things with our words. He is simply not talking about a being. He is talking about anything that takes the place of God in our lives. It could be your job, it could be the internet, it could be your spouse, your kids anything that you allow to be your god. Always put God first. Outsmart the devil by making God your main focus. Romans 10:9 that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; The first step to be saved is confessing with your MOUTH with WORDS!!!

Start by beginning everyday by acknowledging Him first and thanking Him with your mouth. Your words can be used against you. So choose your words carefully and outsmart the devil!!! Q

A proud day for America

I honestly can't put my feelings into words. So instead I will simply say Congratulations Senator Obama!!!! Q